How Clothing + Shoes Saved Me

When I was going through an awful divorce and feeling undesirable and weak, sliding on a pair of sky-high heels and tight, skinny jeans made me feel hot, strong and in-charge.

Aside from a few cool and funny dudes, the one thing that kept me sane during the last year at my corporate job was how I dressed (yes, I wore the heels and tight, skinny jeans there too). The atmosphere was so stressful and stifling, but dressing exactly how I wanted gave me such a rush that I almost looked forward to going to work each day. ;) 

They also gave me a protective shield.

It’s NOT superficial.

Despite always loving fashion (hello Barbie dolls), it finally hit me during that tough time how important clothing and shoes are.

As well as protecting and building me up again, they made me feel beautiful and peaceful on my wedding day, gave me the courage to go up to a guy who I thought was hot at a bar and the strength to give my mom’s eulogy.

It can change your life if you let it.

It’s the quickest way to feel however you want—strong, sexy, balanced, pulled-together, professional, sweet, edgy. Then you act accordingly.

The key is not to worry about what other people think.

Because really, who cares what they think?

You know who I’m talking about: the people who stare open-mouthed as you clip-clop by in your fabulous new shoes or short, tight skirt.

Guess what, you’ve just given them permission to dress the way they’re dying to dress as well.

Why this is a great thing?

Because the point of life is to enjoy it.

There’s nothing like wearing something that makes you feel like a million bucks—your interactions will be more real and you’ll be happy.

Let’s try it on.

1. Drop into your body and think about how you want to feel—hot, strong, a bit edgy, cool, whatever. Really feel it.

2. Check out your closet and drawers. Is something there that could make you feel this way? (ex: a brightly colored dress that you never, ever wear).

3. Nothing? Decide if shoes or clothing would fit the bill (or both) and start shopping—online (my favorite choice) or a store.

4. Start small—maybe edgy shoes to wear with a conservative outfit. Or some funky earrings or maybe a badass cuff.

5. Not too trendy, unless you really love it. When I pick things because I connect with them and not just because I saw them in a magazine, my outfits click and I feel the happiest. I’m not copying anyone—I’m being myself, the amped-up version.

6. Wear what your heart desires, ignore the gawkers and smile.


This also one of the best ways to look younger naturally.
When you’re wearing something that feels like who you really are, you’ll glow.


Now tell me.

Have clothes and/or shoes gotten you through a tough time, or just made a night out even better? 

If you’re not doing this already, how would you start—small or all-out?

Or, just leave a comment.

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