Living From Desire (+ Poem)

I was raised Catholic and desire is something I was not taught to think about. Ever!

But just like amazing sex, desires can heal.

As I think of my desires, I feel a warm, open, fluttery sensation in my heart center.

I distinctly feel my heartbeat speed up and the fog that stubbornly resides in my head clears.

I'm expanded and open to possibilities.

When I feel into and pursue my desires, I'm living as my True self who fiercely wants me to be the person I came here to be. And my desires fuel that.

I didn't come here to suffer needlessly or stay small. Neither did you.

My inner catholic school girl is squirming but I'm going to do it anyway:

What am I desiring in this moment?

~a day to go hiking with my aunt
~laughing deeply with fellow travelers on my path
~another night out at that restaurant with my ladies where we had the most delicious food ever
~that sexy black dress (and those shoes!) that I saw online
~to feel sexy, happy, turned-on, glowy and mischievous
~a date with that masculine man who causes me to think about him long after he's out of sight
~kissing that man as I pay perfect attention to every sensation that arises in my body

Much better.
 

Excavating My Desires

Long overdue, I silence my ego mind.
The part of myself that shuts down every True impulse and Desire.
No easy task, but I am not easily dissuaded.
Especially now.
I've been tunneling toward my Desires for years.
Detours abound. But Desire is determined.
It's the fuel of my life now. A lifeline.
Can I really let myself have everything that I want?
How could I not. God knows I've tried everything else.
Now I feel into my body—the very thing I've avoided for so long.
With proper attention, it lights up like a spark,
pointing me in the direction that I need to go.
       ~Lauren Malloy