How I Used To Be (+ Poem)

One of my life lessons is that I get lost in intimate relationships.

In the past this led me to make decisions that I've quietly regretted, harboring resentment towards the other person (and myself) that came across as coldness or lack of attention.

What would have helped me greatly is the question: "What do I want?"

But I didn't know I could ask that. Growing up I did what was expected of me… be a good daughter, go to college and get good grades (completing it in the acceptable timeframe), get a good, steady job that provided benefits. Get married, buy a house and plan for kids.

It turns out I didn't want most of those things—except being the good daughter of course ;). So I ended up un-doing most of those decisions in order to be free.

Which leads me to ask the all important question:

What do I want?

I want it all. I want to be free in an intimate relationship….where my partner and I are both fully living as our True selves and are connected to each other and the world.

What do YOU want?

With Love,

Letting Go

What if I could relax my rigidness,
and let go of all those unhelpful rules that my mind has collected over the years.
And slipped instead into how I really feel,
and what I really want—at my True core.
And give you the space to do the same.
How would that feel?
What could we create being our True selves.

                                ~Lauren Malloy