As much as I wanted to be committed and close to a partner

The idea of commitment had been programmed into my mind in a way that didn't feel good

It didn't feel free, which is also what I want!

After thinking for so long that I could only have one or the other

I am blessed to have found and done work to re-program my mind with new, expansive beliefs about commitment

I choose to fuse commitment ~and~ freedom.

What does this look like?

~It's deliberate sex—being aware and present, opening to what's wanted in the moment

Imaginative expressions of pleasure

Talking about what we'd like and not like

And saying it all with full awareness and fierce love + compassion

~Being open to (and even wanting!) the dynamic between us changing

It's adventure and fun and laughter and improvisation

Allowing ourselves and each other to grow and change

And knowing that through this growth we might feel it's no longer right to be together

And being brave enough to let go

~Spending time together in full consciousness, not getting lulled into a routine

Being present and listening with our Whole self and not judging or fixing

And when something irritates us in the other person, looking to see where we do this too

Owning our mistakes, noticing where we can grow, and being transparent

~Letting myself cry daringly with Feeling and in full consciousness and connection as we make love

Knowing the freedom in surrendering as the Divine Feminine

And allowing the force of love and Nature and Spirit flow through me during sex

Peering keenly into each other's eyes until we can't tell one body from the other

~Retaining Who I Am with full clarity and certainty

Living my Purpose in a Divinely Feminine way

Which enhances who I am when I'm with my partner

And holding the same space for him to pursue his Mission

~Having the relationship with ~myself~ be my Primary relationship

And from that place of Wholeness, connecting meaningfully over and over again with Him

With Love,

Photo Credit: Joshua Bobrove