As much as I’ve told myself and others that my Purpose is paramount in my Life
Relationship has been just as important—whether or not I was currently in one
A lot of time over the last few years was spent holding space for old and new wounds experienced in relationships
Leaning into them
Learning from them
Growing from them
Becoming more conscious because of them
And then I articulated that a deep desire and potent facet of my purpose was to hold space for me and others to experience being related to another in a relationship—to fully experience and hold all the joy and pain and connection that gets stirred up in response
While also having autonomy
Which I realize now still felt like an either/or situation
I can either have deep relatedness, stay connected to someone energetically
Or I can go off and do my own thing and not really think about or feel connected to this person
And then I dropped deeper
Into what once again feels like Divine Feminine energy
And I began relating to a word and its resultant energy, that feels more connected than the word Autonomy (which appears now to have been a beautiful stepping stone to the word and energy of something deeper)
This new word/energy is
✨Sovereignty✨
Having this word/energy/thought form in my mind illuminated what I’ve desired for so long and have not quite penetrated yet
~Being fully, authentically Me in a relationship~
Being related and connected to another
While also standing up for myself
For my depths
My darkness
And light
My quirks
Excesses
Perceived insufficiencies
To hold space for the aspects of myself that I fear the other won’t like
Or will judge
To hold the “negative” projection of the other within my awareness, just like I’m learning to hold the “positive”
And most importantly doing it
With Compassion—for myself and the other
Because the truth is, I tend to use the word and energy of Autonomy like a sword
I can slash-and-burn if I feel judged, trampled upon, manipulated, or feel as if someone’s trying to control me in an intimate relationship
Which is due in part to my fear of being judged or manipulated or controlled
I can also swing in the other direction and shrink, not stand up for myself, be quiet and ignore “small” misunderstandings or disagreements or hurts that could grow into deep resentments and prevent future intimacy
What Sovereignty brings to a relationship
Is deeply needed, compassionate,
Heart energy
Divine strength to hold it all
The jarring situation
Perceptions and wounds of both people
And also the space and presence and depth to stay connected to our Selves
Our depths
What is true for us
For our growth
Our lessons
Our wounds
Our Humanness
Our values
Sovereignty allows the contexts of both people
And all that messiness and pain and joy
It stands strong in itself
Remembers it’s values and meaning
And communicates with Heart
Not giving in
Or reactively debating
Trying to be right at the cost of a relationship
But connecting
Meeting fully
Leaning in
Discussing
Creating a new context that honors both
That deepens relatedness
And extends autonomy
It feels like another dimension of Integrity
And it feels like the merging of Masculine (autonomy) and Feminine (relatedness)
As it stands up for each person in a relationship
It coaxes action and communication from the heart
It’s about having the courage and boldness to actual be in-the-moment, Present with someone else—with Heart
And creating space within our hearts to stay connected energetically with this person when we’re not together
Not letting the connection dominate our attention
But letting it settle into the luscious background of attention
Our hearts will not be diminished or become tired by this desire
But energized in its new function
For as a great spiritual teacher once taught
“Your heart is your higher intelligence”
And its electromagnetic energetic field is 5,000 times greater than the brain’s
Sovereignty holds this heart connection
Stays related
While empowering us in our autonomy
Letting us live meaningfully as we open up to experience and live it’s multifaceted (autonomous and related) gifts such as courage, intent, intimacy, clarity, kindness, empathy, knowing, generosity, creativity, loving boldness....
All jewels in the crown of Sovereignty 👑❤️💎🗡
✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
In this video below, I share more about this place, which is a deep growth edge for me ✨
Until next time ✨
Much love,
Lauren