The deep foundation of my coaching is guiding people in determining what directions they want to live their lives, and helping them live in creative, purposeful alignment with those directions—no matter what obstacles show up along the way.

It's about helping them discover what they value
What’s important to them
What qualities they’d like to bring to every action
What they want to stand for in Life
What they want their Life to be about
How they want to live each moment

This is very different from what traditional coaching and even what society focuses on—the goal or outcome.

Goals are important points along the journey—and they are not the main reason for it. 

Not even close.

The reason for the journey is to fully experience Life, to live as the people we want to be, right-here-and-now, acting in ways that we desire—no matter what we are getting.

Living our life direction means we are bringing a certain quality to our action—it's how we are behaving, every step along our journey. 

Valued life directions are just that—directions. Just like traveling north, they will never be reached.

This isn’t true for goals. The second a goal is reached, it’s no longer a goal.

Goals are like sign-posts on the side of the road of Life that you pass on your continued journey of living in your desired direction, and they are always created in service to those directions.

Goals give us the opportunity to live as the people we want to be, and to learn from each action, or inaction.

People who lead very goal-focused lives often feel a sense of emptiness and dissatisfaction because they are always focused on the future,
always looking ahead to the next goal,
always living with an eye on this thing they do-not-have,

Instead of feeling the aliveness that’s right-here-and-Now,
wrapped up in how we are acting, what we are noticing,
what we are experiencing,
when we are living in the direction of our desires.

And these directions can be accessed in each moment.

 
The most powerful metaphor I’ve ever heard regarding goals vs. valued life directions is getting married vs. being loving and caring.

If you want to get married and it happens, mission accomplished.

But if you want to be loving and caring, you can act that way whether you are in a relationship right now or not. You can even act that way with yourself.

But the thing is, you can get married even if you completely neglect your value around being loving and caring—although your marriage might not last all that long, or be very fulfilling if it does.

 
My overarching desired Life direction—my chosen quality of action—is to behave with Courage in all things, including the realm of my purpose and calling

In which I act with intimacy in guiding others in having it all—of creating deep intimacy with a partner, a purpose and themselves.

Having in my sense of the word does not mean “to get or possess”—it means to experience—over and over and over again what it’s like to act like the person you’d like to be, what you want to stand for, living as intimacy with a partner, a purpose and yourself.

No matter where you are on the journey

Whether you are in partnership or recovering from a relationship rupture

Whether you have found your purpose or whether you have one foot in the old world and one in the new

Whether you are deeply connected to yourself or beating yourself up for going off the path yet again

This having, this experiencing means

Setting the course of your Life direction towards deep intimacy with that sacred triad—partnership, purpose and self

And taking potent steps, one at a time, in that direction

Setting the stage for a vital, empowered, Magical Life

The truth is (and you know this)
Life doesn’t always go according to our plans

And yet, if we are living as the people we want to be
Standing up for what we believe in

We can live in this way
We can create in this way
No matter what situation Life has handed to us

This is purpose.
This is intimacy.
This is self-empowerment. 

And it makes me wonder, with respect and curiosity—what do you want your Life to be about?

If you'd like to connect with me to talk more about this, send me an email.

If you'd like to read more about desired life directions, see my related post entitled Desires Vs. Something Truer.

Sending much love to you,
Lauren