I’ve seen other coaches and teachers describe what they do as
“helping others live their most pleasurable, outrageous lives”
Or “...make 6 figures as a healer”
Or “...find epic love” and “...be a Queen”
Without putting much attention on the most important piece of all
Handling the painful thoughts and emotions that emerge when we set off to achieve those goals
Because what my mind will do when it sees those amazingly described outcomes
Is think that it’s easy
And that if I just work with that person
It’ll be easy for me too!
And then I’d get decimated because inevitably
Old, unhelpful memories will get triggered
as I go where I most want to go
And I’ll get thrown off the path
Because a lot of the time
In order to open to what we want
We have to go back to where we fear to tread
~
It’s not always helpful to portray a feeling or a “positive” end state as a goal
Without honoring potential pain too
Because the truth is
Yes, it would be amazing to have “epic love”
But what about those memories that are getting triggered about
How that guy ended your engagement
Or how your old partner cheated on you
Or the brutal divorce you went through
Or sexual trauma you experienced many years ago
Or how you’d love to “live your most pleasurable, outrageous life”
But you judge yourself as wounded and stressed out and boring
Or how you’d love to “make 6 figures as a healer”
But you’re encaged by thoughts that you were an average student and corporate worker
You have many judgments that you still have so much work to do to move through your own wounds
Or you’re comparing and despairing when you see how that phenomenal teacher you follow is just expertly and effectively putting her message out into the world
Or how you want connectedness with yourself and to be a “Queen”
But you have judgements that you’re aging
And you’re hooked by internal thoughts that you’re “not good enough”
And you are feeling disconnected from your sacredness and sexuality
~
Many coaches and helping modalities try to change thoughts or get rid of feelings
Or strive towards only feeling good feelings and having positive thoughts
Without acknowledging that the mind works by addition
Not deletion
The most elated I’ve ever felt in self-development work was when I bought into the idea that I could change or get rid of my painful thoughts
And the most devastated and hopeless I’ve felt is when I realized it didn’t work
Well, it can’t work!
And that’s ok!
What I’ve learned to do with myself and others is to change our relationship to those inner experiences
To develop abilities to hold ourselves in whatever comes up as we move in a direction that’s alive and true for us
To live as the people we want to be
~~
Living this way is challenging
Not because we’re doing it wrong
Or we’re not good enough
But because we are human
And so we are affected by the ruptures of Life—breakups, trauma, deep disappointments, death
We get hooked by painful thoughts about these things
Triggered by memories of them
Overwhelmed by painful emotions when their echoes are evoked
And yet we have Big desires that call to us
That will also most definitely stir up Big pain
And yet, as we might have already heard:
“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek” ~Joseph Campbell
These desires are pushing us towards growth
And new Life
And we don’t have to be super-heroes and not feel any fear or pain
Just ambitiously or stoically moving towards what we want
Our vulnerabilities are what make us beautiful
And relatable
And primed for connection
Perfection and easily getting-what-we-want could never do that
It’s not real
In this Human realm anyway
And so I trust my humanness
And past pain
I trust Life
And I move with it
By acting like the person I want to be
Moving toward what I intuit will allow me to stand for my depths and desires
While holding myself in my humanness
amidst whatever storm blows up on the journey 🌬💦🔥💫❤️
And so, are you like me?
Are you drawn to what feels magnetic and authentic and also earth-shattering?
Whether it’s co-creating a deeply intimate and vulnerable relationship...
Connecting deeply with your whole self by living a calling or Purpose...
Connecting to that deep energy within you, that Goddess or God energy...The sacred and the sexual...
Are you ultimately drawn towards what scares you the most? To what ironically brings up the most pain?
A powerful, kind and generous coach once taught me that a coach can act like a doctor who asks where it hurts so that medicine can be administered
There’s no chance of healing if there’s no noticing of the wound
And it will affect your whole system if it’s left unattended
Entwined in this healing noticing are those beautiful intentions
Of which direction we want to move in regarding a relationship
A purpose
Ourselves
And how we want relate to each intention, what we want to bring to life within each....whether it’s intimacy, empowerment, courage, generosity, love and care
While also letting Life take the reins, releasing expectations of when and how those intentions bloom ✨
These intentional directions are like containers which are created by Us
To be filled by Life
In its own time and way
Another part of our work is to hold ourselves
~Our very human selves~
In everything that gets stirred up as we embody our intentional, vivacious journeys
And so, are you open to discovering, experiencing and learning how to hold these intentions and moving in service to them
No matter what painful, rupture-ous echoes they stir up within you?
Do you want to begin learning how to relate to the echoes differently
So you don’t have to waste vital energy in trying to avoid or get rid of them?
What I’ve learned regarding sacred, bold intentions and the pain that they stir up
I’ve applied in my Life
And in sessions with clients
And I’ve created a free experiential coaching session so that others can experience this process too
I call it an Initiation into Life experience
In this experiential session over Zoom
~We’ll unearth what your intentions are in this Life and how you would act as you move in service to them
~We’ll notice and make room for the inner obstacles that get stirred up when you set these intentions
~You’ll experience a skill that will empower you to hold yourself and whatever gets stirred up along with your intentions
~While I create and hold energetic space for you, your intentions and wounds
~Near the end of the session, if it feels energetically right, I’ll ask if you’d like to hear about how we could work together in a coaching relationship as you begin living in your desired directions, learning to hold yourself deeply in whatever storms blow up on the journey
~If your answer is no, it will be respected and you’ll leave the session with your intentions, awareness of your obstacles and an experience of how to hold them
~
A client who experienced an Initiation into Life session was surprised at what emerged as a deeply held desire
And even more shocked that it was tied to a wound that she had been unable to be present with until then
And she felt grateful and free as she experienced the wound’s multiple facets in a new way—without having to get rid of it
Allowing her to begin moving forward intentionally and purposefully in her life ✨
And so, would you like to have an Initiation into Life session with me?
If your answer is yes, please email me saying you’re interested in having the free, hour-long session over Zoom and I’ll respond so that we can set up a time to meet
✨May you continue to grow in awareness, courage, self-love....and zest for this Life✨
Much love to you ❤️🙏🏻
Lauren