Never more deeply than at this time, I reflect on—in humble appreciation—what this last year has brought… the challenges, the upheavals, the boons, and blessings
And I hold in my attention what’s to come…
In this last year
I learned to more firmly walk a middle path as I developed myself spiritually and also intellectually
To trust myself on a deeper level
To trust Life and its Divine timing
To rehabilitate my relationship with money, to let go of how I think it should come into my life
To treat it and honor it as if it had a Soul
~
I learned to be more transparent with myself as to what I want
To hold space to know what I want
To deepen the connection to my masculine and feminine energy
Which allowed me
To use myself as the fearless foundation of the construction and completion of a year-long series of eight wheel of the year experiences for women
To see that honoring Beauty and my body is truly being of service to the Goddess
To give my coaching business my all, while also taking the steps to go deeper on the journey of a helper
~
I learned that my life’s work is to ✨Hold It All✨
All the “opposites”
Within myself as shadow and light, sexuality, and spirituality, feminine and masculine
Intuition and intellect
With a partner by honoring relatedness as well as autonomy
And with a purpose by experiencing pleasure and fun too
To ever-more-deeply hold myself—in pleasure and pain
To keep my heart open
Whether I felt I was being rejected or adored
To unhook from all of it
And continue to use my values as wise guides and companions on the journey
~
I learned to open my heart to another
While holding space for the core inner wounds that massively got triggered
To shatter the myth of romantic love and all its unhelpful fantasies within my psyche
And to endeavor to love the human man instead
To surf the inconstant wave of that connection
Surrendering to its ebb and flow
To feel the joy and pleasure of it, it’s odd familiarity yet incomprehensible mystery
All the while feeling my deepest core, which will always be my anchor
~
I learned to surrender to the path of becoming a counselor
Letting it smash my world
To face formidable demons on this new path
Obstacles in the form of self-constructed beliefs created in response to pain from the past
Memories that served to “justify” those beliefs
Old hopeless energy that sought to dominate and crush
Or at least immobilize
I surrendered to more structured learning
To uncertainty
To the fear that I might not measure up to others in the program or the field
To the feeling that the ground was dissolving
right
under
my
feet
I learned to employ, develop, and hone skills that allowed me to transcend any expectations I could have had going into the program
~
I let Life penetrate me in this past year
Mind, body, and soul
And I penetrated it
In my own—human—way
And I held it all
Including myself
And in this New Year
I intend to more powerfully than ever
Hone and amplify my Presence
Focus
Concentration
Heart-openness
Enough-ness
As I endeavor to Come Into My Own—
Psychologically, Physically, Spiritually
Riding the waves of Life
Amidst tumultuous-ness and effortless-ness Freedom and flow
All the while keeping my own sacred horizon fixed firmly in my gaze 🌊⭐️
~
May you also keep your eyes firmly focused on your own unique horizon
Zeroed in on your sacred intentions
And live them
From a place of surrender
Openness
Sufficiency
Humility
Joy
Persistence
And deep Aliveness
Much love to you 🙏🏻🤍💗