Honoring Birth and Death (+ Video)

Years ago I was blessed to be present as a best friend gave birth to her first daughter

And just two, short years later, I was transfixed and heart-cracked-open as I witnessed my mom leave this physical Life

I know it’s no coincidence that I was present for both birth and death

And a memory delivered itself to me as I began writing this...

Hearing the song “Lightning Crashes” by the band Live for the first time many years before, foreshadowed these two linked experiences

And I had the most unusual reaction at the time—I shocked my normally unconscious, senior-in-college self by bursting violently into tears at the beauty, profundity and immensity of what was put into song
~

In being present with birth and death

Being honored to witness two of Life’s great mysteries

I created a knowing that those energies are not that different

Entering and exiting are seeming opposites

Yet to me they felt very connected

Even death held a sort of primal magic
An energy was there that I could only describe as spiritual
And I vividly remember the precise instant that I saw my mom’s spirit leave her body
How it slumped, utterly lifeless, after her essence moved out and on

~

I mentioned recently how my work has evolved into an idea of Holding It All

~Of having deep intimacy with ourselves by holding the “opposites”

Masculine and Feminine
Shadow and Light
Sexuality and Spirituality

~Creating deep intimacy in a relationship while balancing it with autonomy

~And living a purpose while having play and fun and ecstasy too

And it’s about
Holding these opposites too

Birth and Death

For they feel wrapped up within each other
Just as Yin and Yang contain pieces of the other and
Give fuel to each other ☯️

And I notice ...

~When I move into a new psychological space
And give birth to a new paradigm
The old one dies off

 
~When I completely severed ties with someone who was once closer to me than anyone

I enabled the birth of the re-opening of my heart
And I allowed the budding of a new connection

And in that birthing

An old part
A cynical part
A part that wants me to stay safe
And only doing-my-own-thing
Begins to die

 
~As I move toward the birth of an older, wiser, humbler dimension of myself
I let the bloom of self-centered youth fade

~As I stay true to the Self who is being born
I let die my self-consciousness of what others think or expect of me

~When my mom died
I released the roles of daughter and caregiver

And before that I let go of the role of wife
And then corporate worker

And in the deaths of those roles
I slowly began birthing the Life I was stepping into and living
~

I have felt the immense challenge of putting these experiences into words

I’ve felt fear that others will balk in response to  my sharing of these two paramount aspects of our existence

And I also have a knowing that writing about this—at whatever level I am—is valid and important and heart-felt

I’m here to humbly give birth to—along with many, many others—new consciousness
And part of that is bringing death and birth together
In holding them both as different flavors of the same energy
~

I had a teacher many years ago (in the time leading up to my mom’s death) who helped me see that death can be beautiful

And that enabled me to be fully present to it

That it’s a releasing
No matter what happens thereafter
It’s what we will all experience one day
It’s a sacred exit
Until (if you believe)
Another sacred entrance

A constant flow of Life
And to meet it all with courage and love

And this act of being in-the-moment
No matter what is happening
Is the lesson of a lifetime

That we can live through the mysteries of birth and death
Be true to our heart’s calling
Our heart’s wisdom
Drop into it more and more as we age

Birth and death let us live from our hearts
Releasing mind as master of the ship

It’s a practice of surrender
A way to experience the great, silent void
Pregnant with possibilities
Trusting Life—yet again

And in that trusting
The unending flow of birth and death can be played out
Forever more

While we rise up and courageously live it all
Attending all our births and deaths
With a humility and courage and open-heartedness that nourishes and strengthens and enlivens us 🙌🏻❤️🐛✨🦋

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In this video below, I share about my first true meeting with and honoring of death ✨

Until next time ✨

Much love,
Lauren

Creating Deep Intimacy with Your Inner Man with Heart—an Initiation for Women (+ Video)

So, lately I’ve been sharing about connecting to a deep Masculine part of myself

To create a deeply intimate inner foundation, that can also serve deep intimacy in an outer relationship

And as I’ve done this I’ve chosen to create a 6-week coaching container to hold other sisters—along with myself—in this desire that I hooked into

This container is called Creating Deep Intimacy with Your Inner Man with Heart

And I feel terrified!

Not only because this journey is uncharted (as most of my journeys are 😊)

But because it feels so raw and personal (old relationship wounds are getting enflamed as I create and birth this love-labor)

It’s also anxiety-inducing because honestly, I’m unsure if other women will want this too 🥴
~

The thing is, I’ve always considered myself to be my most ideal client ❤️

I let my challenges and healing and growth and values and intentions lead the work that I create and initiate and practice

And yet my purpose is to hold others as well, while facilitating their ability to ultimately hold themselves amidst the wild flow of Life

And to inspire and challenge and help them find meaning and what’s important for them to take a stand for in Life

And ultimately my intention is to act and create and build using my unique flavor within the spiritual/self-development realm—and do it with Empathy

Feeling what it’s like to be in another sister’s place, with the ruptures and experiences she’s been through

What would she want for her highest growth, to enliven and empower her?

What I’ve intuited about sisters (and about men, for that matter) who resonate with the work that I do

Is that they don’t want to just get by, just coasting through life
They want to grow and evolve through their Life ruptures
And move toward what turns them on and also scares them
And that they want to be challenged and to act with and feel the aliveness in the uncertainty of it all

In the midst of this mystery that is Life

While getting better and better and better at trusting themselves and holding themselves in all emotions and with all thoughts that surface

As they continue to walk in the direction that they desire and choose

And so I intuit 🤞🏻 that I’ve stepped into something that other women who resonate with my path of growth will want too

And so I’m about to put it out there

As I hold myself in all the uncomfortableness that’s surfacing

In full love and surrender ❤️❤️❤️
~

And so, next Thursday at 7pm EST I’m going to be holding an introductory experience as an initiation into the 6-week coaching container called 

~Creating Deep Intimacy with Your Inner Man with Heart~

In this free experience over Zoom—that you sisters are most welcome to attend for your highest good and growth, whether or not you choose to be in the 6-week container—we will

•Flow with the energy of Life—of the ever-changing seasons—and access the increasing solar, Masculine energy for our highest good
•Give voice to and honor the wounds related to our relationship with the Masculine—inner and outer
•Break the unhelpful spell of romantic love, to empower ourselves and an outer relationship 
•Discover and open to a different relationship with the Masculine—the Masculine energy that is within Us
•Enter a ritual to honor and initiate the creation of a deeply intimate inner Masculine foundation, which will also serve deep intimacy in an outer partnership

If there’s a woman in your life that you intuit would resonate with this event—or if that woman is you

**Click here to get more details, and reserve a spot in the experience and get the Zoom call-in details**

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

In the video below, I share why creating this experience has been vulnerable for me

Until next time ✨

Much love,
Lauren

Finding My Inner Man with Heart

I feel lingering shame

And incredibly vulnerable that I’m about to really call myself out ~

The thing is I’ve let the ideal of romantic love block the creation of true relationship
Which repeatedly left pain and heartache in its wake

This ideal
Programmed continually into me throughout my Life

Most potently when I was little

Powerfully and insidiously colored my perception of reality with an outer partner

Whether it was a result of being exposed to

Fairy tales where the prince found/saved/rescued the princess and they lived “happily ever after”

Or literally having my essence changed by taking in the energy of an aggressively impactful song when I was 11 years old that went:

“I need a hero, I’m holding out for a hero ‘til the morning light...he’s gotta be strong and he’s gotta be fast ... and he’s gotta be larger than life”

Or watching Tom Cruise declare “You complete me” in the movie Jerry Maguire

If I continued to reflect, there’d be no end to the fuel I’d unearth that fed into my hopeless devotion to the notion of romantic love
~

I’ve honestly done so much throughout these years to grow through my romantic ruptures

And ultimately I was still—on some level—“holding out for a hero”, wanting someone to be the Masculine force in my life, to “save” me
~

But because I choose to travel this path of increasing consciousness and transformation

And the more I’ve been humbled in all areas of life

I finally opened up to receive what I needed most

Which is having the spell of romantic love broken
~

My experience of romantic love consisted of
Putting super-human qualities that I’d picked up from my programming
Along with my inner divine qualities 
onto an outer man
While he did the same in relation to me

Getting addicted to the high-highs of that intense attraction

Not realizing that it wasn’t love
Or even friendship that we were creating

But an addiction to idealized perfection  

That left little room to be the humans that we are and therefore very little relatedness and true connection and love was possible

And so the lowest of the lows would eventually transpire and a relationship rupture would ensue

And yet I was so hooked, so unconsciously enraptured by this ideal, that I’d still look for it again and again

Thinking “maybe this time the high will last”
~

But as I kept growing my attention
And presence
And groundedness
And instinct
And intuition

Along with being cracked open to my humanness

I opened to the inner shifts that were ready to take place through this multi-dimensional surrender that was necessary to wake up from this myth

Which guided me to begin—quite frankly—a misty, uncertain, incredulous journey of connecting to an inner Masculine part of myself

Which is so very different from the Masculine energy that I connect to and use in relating to the outer world

Of logic
And structure
And scheduling
And direct communication
And groundedness
And boundaries

I began essentially creating this “Inner Man” journey despite my mind telling me how crazy I am to do this and go here

That there is no logical way to do this!

Or the judgments my mind fears your mind will create about me in response to reading this!

And yet I hold the intention
To connect with that inner, deep Masculine part of myself

That inner energy that’s been waiting for so long to be connected to

That is erotic and potent, initiating and passionate, and divinely transformative and playfully-ecstatically-liberatingly creative

And which backs me up

Energy that has always been there

To enliven and turn on and direct and nourish and heal and fortify

That can also assist in creating a foundation for an outer, healthy, human relationship

Which will benefit from me taking initiative to live the divine and the deep Masculine I’ve been projecting onto men through my programming
~

All I can do now in the aftermath of my awakening is follow the instinct and intention that I’ve tuned into because

This path is not rational

It’s more than that—it’s irrational

Which simply, powerfully, paradigm-shifting-ly means to open to what is

To access knowledge through our senses—
Knowing that is beyond or outside of logic or reason

Because I know that living a life of meaning, of deep intimacy, of feeling, of aliveness—the essence of what’s important for me to take a stand for in Life and to live

Is not about following convention
Or logic
Or unhelpful ideals created and perpetuated by others

It’s about creating something new
And being courageous enough to step into it
Even if the path is murky
No matter how scared I feel
Or how judgmental my mind is in response

I let the deeper part lead
And I humbly, presently, courageously, ecstatically
Follow ❤️🔥💦 ☯️

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In this video below, I share more about finding my Inner Man with Heart

Until next time ✨

Much love,
Lauren

Entering the Deep Masculine

Just as with the Feminine, I unexpectedly fell many layers deeper into how I experience the Masculine 🔥

Yes—on a foundational, functional, helpful level
The Masculine is single-pointed focus, structure and logical progression

And what I have been blessed to experience is that the deep Masculine is an energy to embody
Just like the deep Feminine

That it can be
Just as turned-on as the Feminine
Just as erotic
Even more powerfully, potently, pointedly so

And it has immense depth like the Feminine

The deep Feminine stirs up change with her dynamic, transformative energy
Causing upheaval and pain yet ultimate growth and renewal on a whole new plane

While the deep Masculine
Solidifies
Stands behind and
Makes manifest something new

Creating an experience of sacredness
Divinity
Spirit
As it initiates this new-thing
From a place of deeper-than-human, incomprehensible conjuring

Evoking awe in its arrival
Appreciation for its surrendered expression of bringing-into-being

And each fragile experience teaches us to be passionately aware of each moment
~

It’s taught that the Masculine is the fire
Underneath the cauldron of the waters of the Feminine
Bringing it slowly, patiently, strongly to boil

Both are needed
and enhance and ignite the other
In their never-ending, cosmic yin/yang dance

The deep Masculine is not only forward-movement and directed-action, making something happen

But an experience of energy that causes a slow-burn, igniting new growth
New potential

The deep Masculine takes a stand for new experiences
Explores new territory
Yet is vulnerable and courageous enough to acknowledge and Own
that the new is never certain
Thereby bowing to mystery and danger

In this reverence, the Masculine is all the more Trustable
As he pushes on
Building a cause
A mission
A purpose

While
Exponentially growing his awareness and presence
To harness his growing power
Assess the uncharted territory
Fuel the journey
And stay connected to his primal, raw, radiating, honorable, turned-on energy
~~

The deep Masculine
Is a different flavor of the Divine
Stable, strengthening

Straightforward in its desire
Clear in its intent
In a way that charmingly disarms the other
Creating respect, awe, permission and an opening to connection

Refreshingly relaxed in it’s aliveness
And therefore shockingly playful and humorous
Able to laugh in the face of normally rational Masculine stoic seriousness
Thereby unhooking from habitual ways of acting that are no longer conscious

The deep Masculine is dialed in to Reality so potently 
Uses the power of awareness to penetrate the Present so deeply
And senses, luxuriates in, honors and enjoys the energetic and physical gifts that lay present in every moment

Joining his powers with the other half of the whole—the deep Feminine 🌊☯️🔥

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In this video below, I share more about my cracking open regarding the myth of romantic love and what I did in relation to it

 Until next time ✨

Much love,
Lauren

Choosing the Hidden, Transformative Path

I feel uncomfortable sharing this (and my mind is judging it as too intimate and maybe over-the-top)

But my truth is 
I’m not meant to give birth to a child in this lifetime 

My purpose in this Life is to 
Birth myself
And to create and hold space for others to learn to birth themselves too 
~

 I had the experience when I was caring for my mom when she was sick 

Of unconditional love 
Of self-sacrifice 
Of worry and exhaustion 
Of sorrow and helplessness that I couldn't control what was happening to her 
Or make it better 

I had the divine Mother experience of opening my heart and unconditionally loving her 

Of feeling joy in her presence 
And awe of her surrendered Strength

And I feel unending gratitude that I had both experiences with her—being mothered by her and mothering her in return  

And ultimately having the experience of birthing her into another realm aided by my Love

And in my deep heart 
After she left this physical Life
I knew I was being pulled to do something other than birth and raise a beautiful being 

Her leaving unleashed me to walk a path that was hidden from my awareness before that time 
~

It took me years to realize 
Through struggle and triumph and pain and curiosity and loving boldness 

That I was in essence 
Becoming a Midwife  

First for myself
As I went through years of therapy
And then coaching 
And I came to a place where 
I learned what was helpful and not so helpful
About being held by someone else 

And I continually built up the inner strength to learn and experience how to hold myself 

And then I knew that it was possible to teach and facilitate for others the experience of holding themselves  
~

When I say birth myself 
I mean have an intention for how I want to grow as a human 
And what I want to embody 
And stand for as a woman
A container 
A direction to point my unique compass in this Lifetime

And to continuously create what will be in service to that intention, embodiment and direction 

And to walk in that direction
Knowing that I’m never going to reach the end point
That there is no end point 

It’s the process of the Journey that’s the intention 

Knowing all the while that this journey will challenge me 
Frighten me
Enrage me
Stress me out at times
And my mind will generate unhelpful thoughts in response 
And recall unhelpful memories as a way to try to stop me

And I am my own Midwife
When I hold all those feelings
Become aware of all those unhelpful thoughts 
And be so bold as to place them in my hands
So I can look at them 
And not from them

So that I stay with myself in the messiness of Life
And still act as the woman I want to be
Heading in the direction that I want to travel 

Even if I’m sitting on the side of the road in anguish 
I can sit there in the energy of self-compassion 
And eventually get up and begin walking again 

Enacting these skills and ways of being 
Anoint me as my own Midwife

To hold everything as “She”
My deep being 
And live a Life that’s bold and present and embodied and Alive because of it 
~

Midwife means to bring into being 
A new embodiment
And it means assisting development 

To midwife means to be the deep Feminine 
To be open to all of reality
The pain as well as the elation 
To not shrink in the face of any of it 

But to stay grounded and present and utterly Loving 
And as I do that
As We do that 
We give birth—again and again—to a full, ecstatic and Real embodiment of each of us 🔥❤️

✨✨✨✨

And so 
Dear friend,
Are you like me?

Have you been opened to more than what’s offered in a conventional Life?

Have you devoted much time to deep coaching or therapeutic work with others?

Do you have an inner urge to access and grow what’s deep inside of you?

To be Birthed anew 

And have you had the inkling that you’re the one to do that,
That you’re ultimately the only one who can do it?

To continually birth yourself into this world ✨
And all that wants to get created through that gloriously messy and real process?
~

In the work that I do with coaching clients:

~An energetic container is created to hold the intention of Transformation 

This is not about goals or things (these are created in service to the container of transformation but they are not the thing)

Instead we are asked

How we would like to grow

And what we want to embody as a human

And what we want to stand for in this Life

~I hold objective, flexible, deeply Feminine space for you and the container of transformation 

As a Midwife, I hold you in the energy of whatever is being stirred up by the energies of growth and transformation 

While I facilitate the learning and experiencing of the skills for you to hold yourself 

~As you experience living and practicing and acting in service to it and give birthing to it 

And you learn to become your own Midwife in the process of it all—holding yourself as you honor your intention of Transformation by living it 

~While learning and experiencing how to surrender to Life, which determines all the rest 

This means to surrender to how and when and if that transformation happens! That maybe something totally different happens!

To learn that Transformation is not a “thing” to be bought off-the-shelf

But it’s a process
And it requires trust of Life
And the asking for transformation to happen for the good of all 
~

And so, do you want to stand for the Feminine (that’s present in both women and men)

That can be the nurturing, static, protective, safe Feminine?

Or the dynamic, creative Feminine that causes something new to be born?

That is the ecstatic energy of Growth 

The nurturing, mothering aspect of the Feminine can be helpful at times 

And over time (as I’ve experienced) it can bring feelings of listlessness, boredom and depression in it’s insistence on safety and sameness

While the dynamic, transformative Feminine 
When allowed to flourish after being suppressed for so long

Brings the whole kaleidoscope of feelings and energies 

As it reaches for new Life
In it’s unique expression of humanness and creativity and growth 
~

To give you an experience of the work that I facilitate within a coaching relationship, I’m offering you a free session with me called Igniting the Deep Feminine Fire of Transformation

In this session over Zoom

~We will mine what energetic changes you wish to midwife within yourself 

~We will illuminate how you’ll act in service to these desired energetic changes 

~You’ll have an experience of psychic skills that will empower the holding of your courageous container of transformation 

~While I create and hold energetic space as the deep Feminine, the Midwife

If it feels energetically right, at the end of the session, I’ll ask if you’d like to hear about how we could work together in a coaching relationship to nurture your container of transformation and develop the midwifing skills to birth it and You

If your answer is no, it will be respected 

I won’t guilt you into anything because you experienced a free session with me 🙏🏻
~

Moving away from dynamic change and transformation (one facet of the deep Feminine)
Constricts life 

But yes, igniting the container of transformation takes courage!

And it can be painful 
And it’s really not possible to go back once it’s ignited
Any more than you can go back to not being pregnant once the pains of childbirth have begun

And yet the process of learning the midwifing skills 
In service to that divine intention of transformation 

Is like being a midwife to a soon-to-be-mother 

You are assisting something gloriously, 
Dynamically new in being born into this world 

And as you ask yourself whether you’ll stand for the sameness of protection or the ecstasy of creation,

Should you chose the path of growth and transformation 

Vitality and new life are experienced
And the pain endured feels worthy and worth it
~

A client who experienced an Igniting the Deep Feminine Fire of Transformation session 
Was awakened to all the ways she bought into creating a Life that was safe
And how it left her energetically, depressingly indifferent to the nuances and beauty of Life

And she was opened up to the energy deep within her that wanted to be claimed and embodied and Lived
And she went on to begin the work of birthing those changes within her and the world 

While learning to hold all the unhelpful thoughts and painful feelings that sprouted up
As she learned to become her own Midwife 🔥✨🧜‍♀️

And so, would you like to have an Igniting the Deep Feminine Fire of Transformation session with me?

If your answer is yes, please email me saying that you’re interested in having the free, hour-long Igniting the Deep Feminine Fire of Transformation session over Zoom with me and I’ll reply back so that we can set up time to have it

I have space in my Life to work with just two new people, so if your answer is yes to the session, reply back to me as soon as you can

May you continue to grow in zest for experiencing the fullness of Life, as you embody your deepest intended qualities and energies and experience the deeply Feminine empowerment of becoming your own Midwife ❤️🙏🏻💫

Much love to you,
Lauren 

P.S. To read more about my journey of learning what Transformation is, click here.

I Didn’t Want to Write About This (+ Video)

I feel vulnerable in sharing that one of the wounds that I nurse within my self at times 

Is one that occurred years ago with a coach 
who I allowed to seduce me into working with her with the promise of Transformation 

Which was to occur within a specific period of time 

And by paying a certain (large) amount of money

Almost as if transformation was a physical item that could be bought off-the-shelf
~

Transformation, as I’ve since been blessed to experience it 

Is not so easily quantified 

It works on you and through you when you least expect it  
In the most mysterious and incomprehensible ways 

Transformation, as I’ve witnessed, begins with an energetic container of intent in which to hold it’s unknown power

And requires a different kind of perception to notice that it has occurred

Not a Masculine, single-pointed focus that has it’s eagle eyes out, searching for precise, tangible evidence that the thing, the transformation, as occurred exactly as the mind desired it

But the diffused, all-encompassing vision of the Feminine, that sees and takes all in 

And that can feel and coalesce the transformation that has subtly happened in all realms 

Especially the unseen 
The irrational place 

The Feminine takes the sphere of the irrational 
And elevates it to a place of esteem again 

She is the place of trust 
Because the thing is 

Transformation won’t likely happen in the way our rational minds want 
Or in the timeframe 
Or even be the kind of transformation originally sought after 

Because we don’t always get to determine what the transformation will be!
~

I enrolled in a program years ago with the desire to connect my spirituality to my sexuality

Part of the effect of that effort was my transformation into someone who stopped drinking almost completely 

My rational mind never could have conceived this as being necessary!

But in the knowing realm, connecting to others intimately, vulnerably and soberly—a place where embarrassed excuses and places to hide were obliterated  

Was a necessary part of the ongoing journey of connection to the mysteries of spirit and sexuality
~

I once worked with a beautiful woman 
who most ardently wanted to know her purpose 

And in the time we coached together her mind fought all attempts made to unearth it 

For it was not yet the time for this awareness 

What transpired instead was that in the wake of our time together, her Feminine energy was brought out to glorious power and potency 

This was the transformation that Life intended for her at that time 

This was the part of the path that she was meant to Live at that point on her journey 
~

Transformation is the realm of the active aspect of the Feminine and suggests another of Her qualities that’s necessary to birth it into being—Surrender 

A deep surrender is invoked to allow 
The way transformation happens
As well as it’s timing and it’s form

And even (especially) to the pain that comes at times with transformation

Because transformation most often requires destruction of what was 

It’s a true letting go ✨

As I surrender to transformation 
By igniting the engine of transformation 
Which is the fire of my consciousness 

I’ve had to be willing to be peeled like an onion 
To notice the shock as I see my shadow layers
The effect they’ve had on myself and others

To see where I have wounded and been wounded

To go into that pain 
To experience it 
To honor it and Live it 

Not for the sake of simply feeling pain 
But to honor what is
In the service of birthing something new
Of bringing forth new Life

Knowing that I will be held by the deep Feminine
And her desire for life-affirming, ever-constant change and growth   
~

What I learned with that coach all those years ago is that transformation doesn’t happen because a charismatic, ambitious woman promises it to me

Or because I paid a lot of money for it, so I deserve for it to happen 

It happens when I’m willing to let go of control
To create this condition for “it” to happen 

To let go of what “it” is
To surrender to what Life wants transformed in me
What I’m ready to have transformed 
And actively live in service to it 
And to Life

Transformation cracked me open through its brutal teaching with that coach

And it fiercely revealed to me the deepest aspect of I want to embody in all realms of Life, but most pointedly 

To do this work, with myself—and with others as a coach 

With the utmost Integrity

To use Integrity as a guide in how I act 

And part of that Integrity is to be clear on all the roles in a coaching relationship—

That I will actively hold objective, compassionate, flexible, deeply Feminine space for the container of transformation that’s been created 

While my client actively lives and acts in service to it, and gives birth to it 

While surrendering to Life, which determines All the rest 
~

This wound that I nurse 
As it erupts painfully at times 

Has been my biggest boon and Guide as a coach, and a human 

It is a beacon for my continued practice of Integrity 

And a portal into the potent, powerful, mysterious realm

of Transformation 💎🌟💗✨🧜‍♀️💦

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

 In this video below, I share with you more about why Transformation has been so triggering and why I’ve chosen to write about it and create a group experience with it at the center

 May you be opened to the ever-occurring, mysterious, illogical, deeply Feminine realm of Transformation ✨

Much love,
Lauren

Igniting the Deep Feminine Fire of Transformation [Free Event]

***TO RESERVE A SPOT IN THE EVENT and get the Zoom call-in details, click here**

Dear Sisters,

Following the quiet of our Winter Solstice experience, Deep Feminine Glory—Incubating the Union of Opposites

We now enter a time of transition that celebrates a most sacred and powerful Goddess—Brigid🔥

She is beloved in her many aspects, a few of which are Goddess of Fire, of transformation, of poetry and of healing 

She is a Goddess who survived a time of religious suppression by transforming herself from Goddess to Saint and back to Goddess ✨

Let us again join together and merge with the unique energy of the wheel of the year seasons

By celebrating Goddess Brigid and her holiday Imbolc, a day that honors transformation, new beginnings, preparing for what’s to come and the transformation from winter into spring

And so let us come together to create

~A unique container for transformation that will hold us throughout this year~

•By mining what *energetic* changes we wish to midwife within ourselves
•Illuminating how we will *act* in service to those desired energetic changes
•Having an *experience* of psychic skills that will empower the holding of our courageous container of transformation

Let us experience and fully Live this season of rebirth from darkness into light by honoring Goddess Brigid and igniting the blessing of the deep Feminine fire of Transformation 🔥🌟👑

I hope you’ll join me over Zoom on Monday February 1 at 7pm EST ❤️

***TO RESERVE A SPOT IN THE EVENT and get the Zoom call-in details, click here**

✨✨✨✨

In this video below I share why honoring Goddess Brigid through creating Igniting the Deep Feminine Fire of Transformation has been such an inspiring and meaningful time for me

I hope to see you in the event experience!

Much love to you 🙏🏻♥️

✨✨✨✨

I'm a coach and facilitator of self-empowerment and Life direction. I work with those who have suffered a Rupture (heart-wrenching breakup, job loss, death) and who want to create deep intimacy (whatever that means for them) with a partner, a purpose and themselves and who are struggling with the inner obstacles that these desires have stirred up

I guide people in connecting to this sacred triad of partnership/purpose/Self by facilitating their development of self-empowerment skills, their creation of life direction through living values and their embodiment of the divine Masculine + Feminine, while awakening them to the magic that is Life itself through opening to the empowerment of Nature

2020 Was the Ultimate Teacher of Self-Empowerment

I won’t fall into the trap of creating a list of what I want to manifest in 2021

Instead, I’ll welcome this new year and new age by becoming aware of all that I learned in 2020, as I created and lived boldly through my heart 💘

~
I learned (once again) it’s not what you get, but how you are acting and living as you walk toward those things that create an ecstatic Life

~
I learned how to create and flourish in the midst of a pandemic

To surrender to uncertainty and even get energy from the unknown

To create consistently, no matter the outcome, to unhook from the outcome and to continue to walk in my desired, intended direction

~
I learned to exercise the muscle of Empathy and to act with it even if I couldn’t fully put myself in someone else’s shoes yet

~
I learned and embodied what Excellence really is—it’s not perfectionism, but the best I can do in any moment, while always knowing that I can do better

~
I learned to feel anxiety instead of pushing it away and I experienced it as a balloon-like energy painfully expanding in my chest

And I accepted it, I held it and I stayed with it as my deepest Self, until this internal “weather” moved into another feeling pattern

And I did it all again the next time
and the next time
and the next time it appeared

~
I learned to hold my frustration (and my irritation, and my sadness...) just as if I was holding a crying baby on my shoulder

To not deny any part of my experience—the “good” or “bad”
No matter how much my mind tried to accept the “good” exclusively

~
I learned that I can be an emotional eater

And I learned to uncover the emotion that I’m trying to soothe with food and to hold myself fiercely and lovingly in that emotion

Exercising the sacred power of my awareness and letting love flow through me

~
I learned to seduce myself back into creating—to use my Masculine to create the container to actually sit down to create and let my Feminine energy reveal what wanted to be born through me

And let the creative energy that came through turn me on and fuel and infuse and give birth to the work

~
I learned that I could go deeper into myself, hold myself with integrity and to create containers of self-growth, not relying on outside coaches and teachers

~
I learned what the deep Feminine is—it’s earthy and instinctual, truly being with what is
The lowest of the low and the highest of the high
That she can hold it all
That we are meant to experience it all
Even the deepest and the darkest

~
I learned that my Shadow is not to be feared

That it holds the rejected, as well as the undeveloped parts of myself—the dark as well
as the gold 

And that they all deserve my attention

Among the rejected, dark parts lurking in the shadow I was astonished to find my bitchiness and my emotionality

And among the undeveloped, gold-in-the-shadow I was overwhelmed to unearth my sexuality and my sensitivity

I learned that this past year was the perfect time  to discover all of this

~
In meeting my Shadow more fully, I learned to descend to the deep Feminine and return tempered and wizened and embodied and emboldened

And I learned to put into words what I energetically desire most in a man—one who is willing to make his own descents, to develop depth, power and wisdom, to know himself on a deeper level and to hold himself in it all

~
I learned and was cracked open in discovering the truth of Romantic love and how I fell under it’s spell—and through that I was humbled to embrace my humanity

~
I learned to speak my truth regarding my boundaries—over and over again—with awareness and clarity and kindness

And I learned to speak unarguably—to state my truth from my perspective, to own it, without blaming or shaming the other

And to hold myself in the wake of how it’s received

~
I learned to listen to my deep Feminine instinct and ended a long-standing connection that was taking too much of my energy, despite objections from my mind that I should instead continue to act cool and proud and detached

~
I learned that as I grew in my power to hold myself implicitly in whatever unhelpful thoughts and painful feelings occur—that I can do it strongly and lovingly with others

~
I learned what truly put me on this path of self-development and unending growth and keeps me traveling on it

~
I learned to trust my aging
And in doing that I began learning to touch Wisdom

As well as deep Love

~
I learned to take pictures that feel like they capture my energy, my connection to my deep self and the desire to be connected to others

~
I learned to be with my Self, fully and in all ways and conditions

~
I learned to hold the opposites—light and dark, dark shadow and gold-in-the-shadow, Masculine and Feminine and to begin incubating their eventual merging into Wholeness, into Unity

~
And, I learned that what we want to manifest in this new age can be crucibles for growth

They stimulate growth

But they are not the thing

They never could be

Whether the desire is
more money
Or a new job
Or a partnership
Or a “better” body

They sacredly give us an arena
To live the true Secret

Like making money from our deepest heart, by acting with empathy, kindness, generosity and humility

Getting a new job and then being responsible, kind, honest and creatively engaged in the work every day thereafter

Relating to an intimate partner with love and care and kindness and vulnerability

Connecting to and treating ourselves with self-love, self-awareness, kindness and self-faith and trust

This is the gold
The magic of Life

This can be activated and lived
In every moment
Not some time in the future

Whether we’re getting all of those things we want
Or not

As we learn ever deeply to trust Life and it’s Divine Timing 💗💎🌟

Happy New Year and much love to you! 🙏🏻💘🙏🏻💘🙏🏻💘

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

In this video below, I share about what made 2020 (in my opinion) our most important year yet

Until next time ✨

Much love,
Lauren

The Energies That Resuscitated Me

Years ago, through suffering and challenges,
I unwittingly began living primal energies of Life—Masculine and Feminine

And I’ve made a deep practice of embodying them ever since

I name them
Not as indicators of gender
But as energy connected on a continuum

Yin and Yang label them more neutrally 

Yin (Feminine) can be expressed as
dark and moist
receptive
flowing
inward-focused
related 
diffuse attention, encompassing the whole

Yang (Masculine) as
light and dry
active
structured
outward-focused
objective 
focused attention on something singular

Masculine feels like the mind and will and logic

While Feminine feels like heart and instinct and knowing that is beyond mind and logic
~

I’ve fallen into the trap of favoring one—or the other
And endured the destruction that ensued

Slipping into inactive depression when I went too far into the feeling Feminine
Or burnt-out as a result of hyperactive, over-driven Masculine

Our culture supports division into polarities and then goes further by labeling one side “good/right/true”
and then glorifying that “good” side

While trying to disown or abolish the opposite
The “bad/wrong/false” side

Which isn’t helpful

Because the thing is
the “opposites”—Masculine and Feminine in this case—
are included within each other ☯️

They are meaningful because the other exists

They couldn’t Be without the other and

They are in a never-ending dance
that’s always changing, just like Life ✨
✨

And I completely get that not everyone buys into this

And that’s ok! I’m not trying to be right

They’re ultimately just words and labels that describe energy and action

I choose to embody and write about them because on a Feminine energetic level—they resonate deep within me

And on a Masculine energetic level—it’s helpful for me to use them!

They’ve helped me understand more about myself and about Life
~

When part of me gets turned on and blissful in response to all the things I want to do and learn and experience and create
I get dissipated
I feel almost nauseous with too much energy
And I become incapable of doing anything

And I can notice that I’ve gone too far into pleasure and rapture
Into my Feminine 

And I can pull back
Get centered as my Masculine and
Hold that Feminine creative energy
And channel it into a plan
And then access my one-thing-at-a-time Masculine discernment
And begin to shine a narrow light on the one thing that I want to create in this moment
And how I can structure it so that it can be born in a way that is pure and coherent and embodied
~

And yet I can get just as imprisoned by my Masculine structure and scheduling
Creating a dry existence
Looking only at what’s next on the calendar and what I committed to doing

And I can notice rage percolating as my inner wildness ramps up to destroy these pristine plans

And as I see that I can let some of my Feminine flow
By letting myself feel and express the rage (as I hold myself as the Masculine)
And once I’ve ridden the wave of that emotional intensity
I can laugh and play and connect with others
Effectively moistening the dryness with deep feeling,
Through an outpouring of truth
and simple, human pleasure
~

After a long stretch of being alone, as part of my healing after being scarred through a divorce and yearning to know myself on a deeper and differentiated level,
I learned to consciously access my Feminine energy, thereby unleashing my radiance, opening my heart and learning to trust It’s active reception
And inexorably pulling men into my life

Through that same divorce I learned to access my Masculine energy
To create a vision of life beyond that marriage
And to take initiative to do what was necessary to make it happen
To hold the vision
And to take action over and over and over again
Through stress and overwhelming fear and what felt like almost insurmountable obstacles
Until it was completed 
~

And I used both energies almost simultaneously in caring for my mom in the last months of her Life
Using strong, grounded, calm and capable energy of the Masculine to lift her out of a wheelchair
Into the car
Hoisting that wheelchair up and into the trunk
And driving off to the most energetically Masculine place—NYC—for her many chemo treatments

All the while
Relating to her gently, playfully, connectedly and lovingly as the Feminine
As I lifted her
As I held her hand while we talked and drove
And while we spent time together during her treatments
~

And I ended up going deep and dark and earthy to meet my shadow
To continue and deepen my inner work
And to feel all the feelings that this stirred up
In doing this I went to the deep Feminine
The place to do real, emotional, primally deep labor

The other side of this is the higher, lighter, more surface, heroic Masculine energy that embodies ideals that tend to deny feelings
That are more comfortable with logic and thinking and succeeding
With future-oriented goals and plans 
(Of which I’m very familiar)

Which, yes, can be very helpful at times

And yet this energy can take up an entire lifetime
It can deny that the Present even exists
And cause us to miss out on experiencing the pleasure—as well as the pain—that is vitally, vividly and meaningfully present within each moment
~

And of course there’s paradox 🙃

Both Masculine and Feminine can seem to manifest in the same way
and yet there’s an energetic quality to each that differentiates them

I can be aggressive as the Feminine in emotion, expressing myself from the depths and power of feeling

Or aggressive as the Masculine in being detached and logical, using the energy of my mind and words to direct power

I can be grounded as the Masculine—centered and stable and capable of being with and holding intense energy

Or grounded as the Feminine—accessing earthy, instinctual energy and being connected and tuned-in to the wisdom of Life

I can be creative as the Feminine by opening to the awareness of what wants to be born through me

Or I can express creativity as the Masculine by devising a structured plan and even the words to give birth to that Feminine visionary spark

And as the Masculine I can be active in my doing 

Or I can be active as the Feminine in my reception
~

These words
and what they evoke
Have awakened me
Enlivened me
Taken me deeply into Life

Masculine and Feminine have offered me endless chances to practice acting with Courage
Given form to mystery
Made action—and Life—more meaningful
Even, and especially when I’m alone

The differentiation in energies helps me create change
And unity in the knowing that they are contained within each other

They are textures and flavors of Life
Representatives of diversity and also inclusivity
Giving expression to the Divine, which doesn’t toil in sameness
But in different patterns of unified energy that are eternally winding and unwinding
Creating Life
And igniting it

And I’m full and whole and grateful as I Live them both 🙌🏻☄️💦🧜‍♀️✨🖤

Deep Feminine Glory—Incubating the Union of Opposites [Free Event]

***TO RESERVE A SPOT IN THE FREE EVENT and get the Zoom call-in details, click here **

Dear Sisters,

Following Samhain, and the time of Descending to the Deep Feminine and seeing/honoring/owning our shadow 🖤

Renewal occurs 🌟❤️

It’s said that we are entering a new age

One that will encompass inclusiveness ✨
Which feels to me like the coming together of opposites ☯️

And so please join me over Zoom on Monday, 12/21 at 7pm EST, during the quiet and stillness of this month of December

And stand in awe amidst this time of beautiful peaking darkness—✨Winter Solstice✨
While also honoring the beginning of the return of Light
And of renewal

We’re preparing to give birth to something new—the union of opposites
Shadow and Light
Masculine and Feminine

In moving toward union
We know that these are energies that are on a continuum
They are polarities
And that it’s helpful to become aware of the differences between each
Before true union is possible

And so let us illuminate the duality through
penetrating the opposites
And practice holding the paradox

I invite you to join me in a sacred Winter Solstice experience, where we will

•Enter the paradox of darkness and light
•Bring awareness to the differences between the polarities of Shadow and Light, Masculine and Feminine
•Learn the sacredness that lies in-between the polarities
•Connect and share from each place within us
•Go within to experience the Paradox
•Create a container of incubation to carry the opposites within us into this New Year and New Age ✨✨

Nature and the seasons teach us that there’s a time for everything and this time of the Winter Solstice tells us to honor the Darkness, the deep Feminine and our continued inner work and to gather close and incubate what we want to give birth to in this coming year and in this time of increasing Light 🌬👑☯️🌟❄️🧜‍♀️

I hope you’ll join me over Zoom on Monday 12/21 at 7pm EST ❤️

***TO RESERVE A SPOT IN THE FREE EVENT and get the Zoom call-in details, click here **

✨✨✨✨

In this video below I share why creating Deep Feminine Glory—Incubating the Union of Opposites has been important for my continued growth

I hope to see you in the event experience!

Much love to you 🙏🏻♥️

✨✨✨✨

I'm a coach and facilitator of self-empowerment and Life direction. I work with those who have suffered a Rupture (heart-wrenching breakup, job loss, death) and who want to create deep intimacy (whatever that means for them) with a partner, a purpose and themselves and who are struggling with the inner obstacles that these desires have stirred up

I guide people in connecting to this sacred triad of partnership/purpose/Self by facilitating their development of self-empowerment skills, their creation of life direction through living values and their embodiment of the divine Masculine + Feminine, while awakening them to the magic that is Life itself through opening to the empowerment of Nature

The Blessing in Honoring Our Opposites

I followed my instinct on an uncertain path, right to the desire to embody my deep Feminine—as well as my deep Masculine

It wound around and led me to the impulse to see and own my Shadow—as well as my bright Light

And then it awed me into an ache to embody another paradox—my Sacredness and my Humanness
~

I will not lie

Since waking up to spirituality

I’ve wanted it more than anything else!

Yet at times my painful humanity got in the way 😊

Ironically my human mind was creating this desire!
This wanting to be spiritual only

This desire had me try to get rid of painful thoughts and feelings and memories and urges and tendencies

And want to exclusively be in situations with people that let me easily tap into the highest part of myself

Finally I was cracked open to see that I chase the high that I get in love relationships in order to touch my own spirituality and realizing the unhelpful consequences of doing that—all the while still quietly craving them
For it’s all I’ve known and been programmed to want
~

In shunning my humanity and exclusively pursuing my spirit, I experienced the rush of intense energy that was generated and hooked me with each new teaching I absorbed
Each insight that resonated deep within
Every connected experience with another being as I continued to wake up and dance in the Now

I experienced this high, hypnotic, irresistible energy earlier in my life
Long before I really knew my what spirituality was

I felt it each time I unknowingly projected my sacred energy onto a new love partner
As they did the same to me
Seeing something divine in them, but ironically theirs was masked by my own projected divinity

And my mind felt betrayed and bitter when that high intensity did not last
And I fell back down to earth
~

Yet as I continue to let Life lead and I humbly follow
As I come to bow to the Shadow-parts-of-me
And to my deep, buried, instinctual Feminine

I see the beauty in my humanness
The realness of it
The earthiness emanating from it
The actual sacredness that lies within the ordinariness

And that I can have
And that I need
And that I am
Both
(That I am always both)
~

In my humanity
Yes
I can be brought low
And humble

And yet I’m gratefully grounded
Seeing
And letting go of resisting or resenting
The humanness of others
Or my own

In this I’m freed to give up outerworld fairy-tales
Conditioned into me early (and later on) and incessantly
Of a partner (or a purpose)

In this I surrender yet again to the uncertainty of where the path is heading
Living in humanness with (hopefully) openness and kindness and humility
Along with the parallel intention of honoring and living my divinity where it will serve best ✨
~

As I embrace the Human and Divine

I settle in with each
And I travel this newly sprouted part of the path
With the intention of integrating the opposites

No longer lopsided
But moving toward wholeness ☯️

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

In this video below, I share more about my cracking open regarding my humanity and spirituality and how to approach this paradoxical realization more fully

Until next time ✨

Much love,
Lauren

I ✨Wonder✨ How This Challenge Can Help Me?

As I look into my little girl eyes

Most of all I see wide-open Wonder ✨

That magical level of consciousness that is
Open
Curious

Willing to explore the unknown
and mystery
And be delighted by it

Or be able to meet the challenges that are present in them, in each-moment

This wonder consciousness does not adhere to logic

For logic runs on
~Knowledge of and devotion to the outcome
~Rigid Rules
~Step-by-step processes
~Intense energy of forward motion, mostly neglecting the Present in deference to the future

The energy of Wonder helps me give birth to things not-experienced-before—
Flexible ways of acting and being, in-this-ever-present-moment
Instinctual creation of direction and innovative ways of moving in that direction
Ever-so-subtle insights and breakthroughs that quietly
humbly
ripple out and change my world

And I am truly surrendered to not knowing how it will all play out
Yet enlivened by being engaged with Life in all its mystery
Creating with passion and heart
Whether I am commingling with Dark or Light
~

Like the Feminine—Wonder is actively receptive

In her openness to all the textures of Life
She inspires me to ask

“I wonder what I can learn from this challenge that would expand my self-empowerment?”

“I wonder how this time of pandemic can help me grow?”

“I wonder what this sadness is telling me to unhook from?”

“I wonder what turning my mind into an ally would be like?”

“I wonder what it would be like to live with Courage when I’m at my lowest and especially  when things are going well for me?”
~

Wonder teaches me to stay with every part of myself

That challenges can be helpful (even and especially if they are painful)

To not shut down in resistance to the challenge

But to honor it as a crucible for growth

To open up for the challenge to thrust me into a new a whole new consciousness

Trusting the challenge
And Myself
And Life
~

In it’s active reception

Wonder also opens me to fully experience unexpected pleasures too
(Yes, I love chocolate as deeply as I did back then, and I still get it all over my face 🥰)
~

Wonder let’s me be with all of Life
and all of me—light and dark
It compassionately holds it all
Takes everything with it on the journey

On this trip of a Lifetime
Anxiousness holds hands with Grounded-calm
Aliveness links arms with Hopelessness 
Ecstasy gives sharp-Anger a piggyback-ride

In this beautiful combining of paradox
This merging ☯️
Wonder looks on and sparkles at the possibilities 

As I radiate with a sense of wholeness not possible when I only adore the Light
~~

Being in-the-moment, in the energy of Wonder

I let go of trying to figure out the answer

I surrender to how
Or when
Or if the answer will come

Trusting that it will
In its own time
And it’s own way

All the while learning that the question is more important than the answer

And as I ask the question ✨
And let it go
I let Life live the answer through me 💫

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

In this video below, I share with you more about why living in the energy of Wonder empowers our Life.

May you experience the openness and enrichment of Wonder ✨ 

Much love,
Lauren

Own Your Darkness 🖤✨

After striving for so long to stay in the Light

Exhaustedly and instinctively I descend into the dark
deep
Feminine

And I find relief in the honesty and realness of this primal place

The humility of this ground

This home of the deep Feminine
Is
earthy
instinctual
feeling

This place requires
Courage on a level not known by the head

For this is the realm of the heart ♥️

She is the space of
pain and uncertainty
And surrender of the deepest kind

This is the place of letting the Shadow out
Out to be seen and claimed

This shadow is the complement to the Light
And in owning both we are made whole

For only worshiping the light brings unbalance and chaos

You have experienced this
Have you not?

We are taught to obsessively and exclusively pursue the light

Has that ever worked out for long?

Hasn’t your dark just come in anyway
Stronger and fiercer?

Making your mind shrink in failure
Unable to live up to the unreasonable standards set up
By a one-sided culture

The deep Feminine
however
knows how to Be
How to be with it all

Especially the dark
And most ardently your shadow

Her cold objectivity was made to reveal it to
You
To highlight it
And mirror it back to you
If you have the courage and groundedness and Trust to See
~

And so
Here I can be with those wounds I learned to stuff down

Actively avoid
And that I told myself to “get over”

The failures
The disappointments
The betrayals
The endings
The deaths

And what my mind told me these things mean about me as a person

And the emotions that are born like fruit of those thoughts and vivid memories

Yes
I have been known to be kind and light-filled and compassionate and open

And this Yin place lets me know the other side of my humanity

The sadness
Irritation
Pettiness
Closed-off-ness
Straight-up bitchiness

The Dark side of my Light

Yearning to be seen
Honored
Taken in and
Merged with its lighter side

And in this real-place
This mirror-world

The deep Feminine nourishes as she reveals this dark
Shows us that it is complement to the light
just as precious as the light
As it’s acknowledged and integrated 

This is underworld mud which
Gives birth to the aboveground lotus

Brighter and more beautiful still for having nestled ever deeper into the dark

In Her we can trust
In her we no longer need to run away from any part of ourselves

In her ground she holds all
~

Her earthy sensuality
Her empowering objectivity
Her awe-inspiring strength
Her crone-like wisdom

Cradle us
Incubate us
Rejuvenate us
Reconfigure us

Until it’s time to come back
To Be
and create
and Live
On a whole new plane 🖤💫🙏🏻☯️✨🔮

✨✨✨✨

And so
Dear friend,

Are you like me?

Do you strive to only live in the Light,
While living the restrictive values of our time and culture

Of
perfectionism
inflexibility
Seriousness in purpose and life
Always looking to a goal-directed future

And never being Here,
in each creative
Feminine moment

Getting thrown off when your natural, Human
darkness emerges

Do you wait in limbo for the time when you will be only Light?

All the while wasting precious energy in thinking that you’re doing it all wrong

And that everybody else—especially those who portray themselves as perfect—is doing it better than you?

Isn’t disowning the darkness in you really strengthening it?

Not honoring those energies can harden into underlying moods that can last for days or months or years

Distracting you from what wants to be created by your deepest self
~

Beautifully, the Dark holds a key to a passionate, full Life

And this particular season of darkness
And this whole year of darkness(!)
Is offering it’s energy to you for growth and regeneration ✨
~

Feeling works both ways

The more I limit my dark feelings
The more I put a cap on my light feelings

The deeper I go
The higher I can go

In rapture I can feel in the full range of emotions
And be present and embodied in it all

As I unite dark and light
Underworld and above world
~

In order to delve into this realm of Wholeness

I’m inviting you to have a free unearthing session with me called Own Your Darkness—and the Deep Feminine

In this session we will uncover the qualities of the deep Feminine (as energy, not gender)

Which means that you will discover Feminine energetic qualities to help live a deep, passionate life

Instead of one that is concerned with striving and comparison and future goals and banishment of the helpful Dark
~

And so you will also encounter your darkness or shadow

Which means that you get a powerful experience of your full humanity that can lead to energy and power on your Life’s journey
~

You will also discover a path to merge these two parts of yourself—Light and Dark

Which means you will learn about self-empowerment skills to
Let Life lead as you live the qualities of the deep Feminine

While learning to integrate the Dark

And about taking action to create with Life, using darkness as well as light
~

In this session you will be held energetically by me
and in going into the dark you will experience the self-empowerment skills that I live and teach that will keep you from getting hooked by your darkness

If it feels energetically right, I’ll ask if you’d like to hear about how we could work together in a coaching relationship to create your life with your Whole self, as you integrate your Darkness and Light

If your answer is no at any point, it will be respected

I will not guilt you into anything because you experienced a free session with me 🙏🏻
~

I am offering this experience
And my energy and presence

So that I can live a deeply Feminine value of mine

Self-empowerment
~

Going into the dark empowers us
Because it frees up energy that was spent in keeping it stuffed down

The dark is also one half of the light
It’s already part of us!
And we are whole as we honor both

Going into the dark can also reveal more of our Light
And it can give us energy for our journey once we begin to integrate it

In a session of Own Your Darkness—and the Deep Feminine a client experienced waves of primal gratitude, seeing the helpfulness and power in her Darkness,
as she woke up to her deep, feeling, Feminine energy
and the ways she wants to live in this world,
while committing to the deepening development of her self-empowerment skills 🙌🏻✨
~

And so

Would you like to have an Own Your Darkness—and the Deep Feminine session with me?

If your answer is yes, please email me saying that you’re interested in having the free, hour-long Own Your Darkness—and the Deep Feminine session over Zoom with me and I’ll reply back so that we can set up time to have it

I have space in my Life to work with just three new people, so if your answer is yes to the session, reply back to me as soon as you can

May you continue to grow in the deep, passionate Feminine (whether you are a man or woman)
in courage to descend to your Darkness and
in persistence in living as a Whole human,
Creating anew and on a whole new level, with both darkness and light 🙏🏻☯️♥️

Much love,
Lauren

Reclaiming “She”: Descending to the Deep Feminine [Free Event]

***TO RESERVE A SPOT IN THE FREE EVENT and get the Zoom call-in details, click here **

Dear Sisters,

My biggest growth, empowerment and transformation has come
Not by running away from darkness

But moving into it

And so
Let us enter this transformative time of year
This powerfully dark and deep time of year
~Scorpio season ♏️
And
Let’s celebrate Samhain
The time of death and rebirth

Join me over Zoom on Thursday, 10/29 at 7PM EST

in a container of
~release
~renewal
~re-empowerment 

By cutting ties to that which is holding us back,
Resting in a quiet and regenerative space,
And receiving the gifts that are buried within every Rupture

And let us join with “She”
Our wise One
Our deepest Being
Part of the deep Feminine

To hold us in the darkness
And help us give birth to the Light 💫

In this journey we will

•Celebrate this time of year and Samhain (Day of the Dead, Halloween)
•Learn what Descent is
•Connect with “She”, our witnessing presence
•Connect to Inanna, Goddess of Heaven and Earth, and take a guided inner journey to her sister Ereshkigal, Goddess of the Underworld
•Like Inanna, we will become aware of and release that which no longer serves us
•We will rest and regenerate in the quiet space of Being
•We will emerge from the Underworld, taking with us gifts received from our Ruptures
•We will also reclaim the gifts of the deep Feminine 

💃🏻⚡️❤️💃🏻⚡️❤️💃🏻⚡️❤️💃🏻⚡️❤️

More about “She”

There’s a season for everything
And this is the season to go dark and deep
Go with the energy of Nature and her wheel of change
To fortify our empowerment as we move deeper into the dark half of the year
By accessing the deep Feminine 🔥🔥🔥

I hope you’ll join me over Zoom next Thursday, 10/29 at 7pm EST

***TO RESERVE A SPOT IN THE EVENT and get the Zoom call-in details, click here **

✨✨✨✨

I'm a coach and facilitator of self-empowerment and Life direction. I work with those who have suffered a Rupture (heart-wrenching breakup, job loss, death) and who want to create deep intimacy (whatever that means for them) with a partner, a purpose and themselves and who are struggling with the inner obstacles that these desires have stirred up

I guide people in connecting to this sacred triad of partnership/purpose/Self by facilitating their development of self-empowerment skills, their creation of life direction through living values and their embodiment of the divine Masculine + Feminine, while awakening them to the magic that is Life itself through opening to the empowerment of Nature

 ✨✨✨✨

In the video below, I share with you an invitation to join me in Reclaiming "She": Descending to the Deep Feminine.

I hope to see you in the event experience!

Much love to you 🙏🏻♥️

"She"

When I was in therapy years ago

And I experienced the gift of having a witnesser to the re-telling of my life challenges

I found myself talking about a part of myself previously unknown

This part emerged as a Wise one
One who knew all

The only way I could describe her was to call her “She”

And I experienced her as an energy just behind my right ear
~

The constancy of “She”
The stability of “She”
The groundedness of “She”

Empowered me to face my fears

“She” held me in pure awareness

Ready to meet whatever darkness I was destined to encounter
As I descended into my depths
And ultimately re-emerged
Reconfigured
Renewed
~

As I grew in courage to Descend
To meet and reap the gifts of whatever rupture was happening

I grew deeply in conjunction with her
This timeless energy
Free of thoughts, memories

Aware of them all
But not identified with them

“She” could observe each one
As if they were appearing on a stage right before her
And she was merely watching
Not getting caught up in the acting
Or re-enacting
~

The more I slowed down and
Released the grip of my errant thoughts
Which only caused chaos
Anxiety
Frustration
Unhelpfulness,

I entered into the magical space with “She”
My deepest Being

I slowed down even more
Grounded and fortified by her love and fierceness, her
Cold
—And necessary—
Objectivity

And let all fall away

And I experienced my darkness for what it is

Sharp inner sensations sprouting from deep rupture
Feelings of shame
Painful throbbing from within my heart

•Which are not Me•

Vivid memories of betrayal by others
And myself
And my conditioning

•Which are not Me•

Memories of those who I’d lost
And my mind’s judgment that I had not grieved them enough
And who’s absence left a gaping whole nonetheless

•Which are not Me•

Unrelenting monologues of how I didn’t do this or that right
Or how I’m unworthy
Or how I’m easily manipulated
Or how things didn’t work out so I’m doomed to fail over and over
Blah blah blah

•Which are not Me•

~~

Why would I choose to descend you wonder?

Because I’m already descending
just
by
living

And by being willing to meet whatever is happening in my experience

Life is about going into the dark
Coming back to the light
Tempered
Wiser
Regenerated

An endless cycle

The Wheel of Life (and death)

And as I consciously move with this energy
Go deep and dark when it’s time
And emerge into the light in due time

I’m empowered to journey with ever-changing Life
To access the freedom and Rapture in the flow

Which is the opposite of resistance

In resistance is pain and struggle and constriction and frustration
Sheer exhaustion
Wasted energy and Life
~

“She” awakens me again and again to the gift of Presence that makes this all possible
This here-and-now place

“She” grounds me here

Where I can shake off the shackles of Time
And it’s cronies of painful memories, unhelpful thoughts, sensations, urges and fearful future concerns

“She” unleashes me
Rejiggering my very essence

So I can
~in my reassembly~

Live a Life that’s trusting and generative and fluid and passionate ❤️💦🔥💃🏻🔮

✨✨✨✨

In the video below, I share with you more about "She".

To experience your "She" or "He", your witnessing presence, I've created a daily meditation called The Observing Self.

The more you practice it, the stronger you get in being that witnessing presence, riding all of Life's passionate waves—the gentle and the fierce, and the more empowered you are to really live.

Much love to you 🙏🏻♥️

47 Years of Unfolding

Today marks my 47th year in this Life

I chose this picture to honor this day

Because it feels like a potent rendering of my unfolding over all these years

It feels free of vanity

Comfortably surrendered

Bright Sun highlighting the lines on my face that speak of my well-spent time here

It feels perfect in its “imperfection”

I love it in this context because the shadows and sun streaks on my face seem to symbolize both my light and dark

My Masculine and Feminine ☯️

Glimmers of innocence as well as wisdom

Equal parts homebody and happy wanderer

My Libra balance in full display ♎️

I love it because I can see the depth of my Being
As I continue to get better at separating myself from my mind and emotions

And living as my true core

In it I can feel the deepening journey of self-acceptance and self-compassion and self-Love

My surrender to Life itself
To her fierce flow
And quiet grace

In this picture I can feel the continued opening of my heart

And surrender to letting it guide me

I love this picture because it was taken in one of my most favorite places on earth
Boothbay Harbor, Maine

Where I can connect to and be nourished by Nature
In her watery Majesty

And I can again feel the energy of my long-departed parents
Who took me there for the first time
And many times thereafter

I love this picture because it feels like a celebration of
My embrace of Life and the

Deepening faith and trust in myself ♥️🙌🏻

✨✨✨

In these words
Dear reader

May you connect with your light and dark
You Masculine and Feminine

Your innocence and wisdom
Your time well-spent here

Your surrender
Your path of self-love and self-compassion

Your deep Being
The opening of your silent, strong Heart

Your trust in yourself

And honor it all ♥️💜❤️

Much love to you always,
Lauren

Celebrating Autumn Equinox—Turning Inward as the Feminine [Free Event]

***TO RESERVE A SPOT IN THE EVENT and get the Zoom call-in details, click here **

Sisters, join me on Monday, September 21 at 7pm EST over Zoom in celebrating Autumn Equinox (Mabon)—the balance of day and night and upcoming surrender into the dark half of the year—by connecting with the Divine Feminine and celebrating the year’s harvest, along with releasing what no longer serves us, and planting seeds of what’s to come

✨✨✨

This is a time of true surrender as the days gets shorter and the dark of night grows longer

It can also be a time of connection, self-empowerment, powerful change and aliveness

Join me in aligning with the power of Nature and the turning of the seasons—something that is constantly changing, in powerful rhythm

As we approach the Autumn Equinox and enter into the dark half of the year

Let’s honor it by becoming present to

•all that we have harvested so far this year (you might be surprised!)
•what needs to be released and let go
•what wants to gestate and be born through us in the coming months

Let’s go inward and connect with the Divine Feminine and the Magic of Life 🧡💫🔮✨

✨✨✨✨

I am a coach and facilitator of self-empowerment and Life direction. I work with those who have suffered a Rupture (heart-wrenching breakup, job loss, death) and who want to create deep intimacy (whatever that means for them) with a partner, a purpose and themselves and who are struggling with the inner obstacles that these desires have stirred up

I guide people in connecting to this sacred triad of partnership/purpose/Self by facilitating their development of self-empowerment skills, their creation of life direction through living values and their embodiment of the divine Masculine + Feminine, while awakening them to the magic that is Life itself through opening to the empowerment of Nature

✨✨✨✨

In the video below, I share with you an invitation to join me in celebrating Autumn Equinox.

Much love,
Lauren

The Divine Feminine Skill of Surrender

When I first realized what my deepest purpose in coaching was, I cried 

I cried because my mind judged it as too much!

I had opened up to this purpose by creating an intention

And I received the awareness that my true work is with those who’ve experienced a Rupture—heart-wrenching breakup, job transition, death—that had cracked them open

And who passionately wanted to create deep intimacy (whatever that means for them) with a partner, a purpose and themselves—to have it all

Yet they were struggling with the inner obstacles that these desires stirred up

And I was struggling with the inner obstacles that this realization stirred up!

I also cried because my mind judged this as too much to have myself (yes, my ideal client is Me 😊)

And too much to facilitate with others 

And yet I had opened myself up to this guidance

I wanted to be led right to what I’m supposed to bring into this world

What would help humanity the most

And what would let me have it all within the realm of my Purpose

And so I was guided to do what was necessary to begin this part of my journey

So I accessed the divine Feminine and
I learned to surrender—to let go—on a whole new level

Calling on a skill that I now facilitate with others

And I surrendered to the form that my work would take

And what I was committing to bringing into my Life

Not only that
I surrendered to all the internal obstacles that erupted in that brief moment of powerful awareness

~The sensations of fear that were triggered within my body
~The memories that were dragged out of the dark recesses of my unconscious from my past Ruptures
~The old thoughts generated by my mind that “nothing ever works out for me” and “I’m not good enough to do this and to have all this”

In surrendering
Those obstacles did not take me over and
I did not give in to them
Instead

And I scanned within myself and felt exactly where the pain from these obstacles occurred within my body

I used my senses to feel the shape of the pain within me
The temperature
The weight
The sensation
And
I stayed present with it as the watcher (the divine Masculine)

And with these dual energies I created distance from my thoughts and emotions

And I was freed up and empowered to begin this part of the Journey—with all the obstacles no longer stopping me or draining my energy, but coming along for the ride instead ✨✨

I used the Feminine energy of surrender to meet this challenge (along with the holding energy of the Masculine)

And I use it to face whatever my mind and resulting emotions resist and judge as “bad” or painful

It’s not that “bad” or painful things won’t ever happen

They will!

And that doesn’t mean we’re not doing it right!

It’s Life giving us opportunities to practice living as the deep Beings we are

To get better and better and better at Living—no matter what Life puts right before us

To surf the waves of Life—whether they are violently turbulent or blissfully ecstatic

Whether your beloved cat dies, your relationship implodes, you’re unclear on your Purpose or you’re stuck in a pandemic

That’s empowerment

We can choose to live Full Out, creating a context to have it all—to act like the people we want to be—with a partner, a Purpose and with ourselves

And not settle for a mediocre existence because our minds want us to stay safe (and therefore stunted)

The truth is
Our minds will try to continue to keep us “safe”
Right up until the day that we’re ready to leave this Life
And we’re tangled up in despair that we never really Lived ✨

In choosing aliveness
We can revel in the vast richness that is all of Life
This is the secret!
It’s all content—the “good” and the “bad”
It’s not us

Let’s be the context instead
The backdrop

Detach from it all
Live and act boldly in the direction of our desired intentions 
Honoring it all
No longer resisting Life but
Trusting it

Letting it flow through us
Living
Like the divine Feminine 🌊💫💦🙌🏻

 ✨✨✨✨

In the video below, I share with you the true meaning of Surrender.

After watching it, download the daily practice meditation that I've created for you called Holding Emotions, so that you can also begin to empower yourself to continue to walk in your desired Life directions no matter what happens along the way, by developing the Divine Feminine skill of surrender. 

Much love to you 🙏🏻♥️

Living as Love Through Transition

I thought I’d be ready to release her when the time came
That it would be a relief almost
After seeing her body suffer the effects of time and age

I thought it would be easier because my mind told me it would be many months from now and I had
More time to prepare

And yet that’s not what Life had planned

And so last Tuesday
On the day of my grandmother’s birth

I witnessed Pia in struggle and pain
And I felt a deep knowing in my body that her time of transition was very near

And my instinct responded to this knowing with a flood of tears and a deep, guttural cry

And then I reached out to gently hold her little body in my hands
And I felt great energy move through me into her

And we were both supported by It

I continued to let it flow through me
Joined now by my unconditional Love for her

And I instinctively and rhythmically and peacefully began stroking her furry side and belly
Knowing that she was being birthed into another dimension

And through it all, she was empowered to make her transition ✨✨✨

In the wake of her passing 
I’ve ridden waves of deep grief and
I’ve surrendered to the contractions of sharp mourning

And I’ve joyfully let go into re-living the memories of our time together and our shared waking up

I re-experience her gentleness as she ever-so-slightly pushes up against my finger for a scratch on the side of her face

I re-member what it’s like to lovingly and playfully wrap my arms around her body and plant my face against her side and experience a strong purr erupt from her Being

Once again I feel her grounding, protecting strength as she energetically and persistently nurses me following a freak mishap

I joyfully re-witness her graceful gait as she trots happily toward me to receive more food

I revel in our shared love of spiritual self-empowerment books 🥰🤓

The way it feels to have her curl up in my lap, head nuzzled firmly against me

Her Beauty as she stares into my eyes with Love

Her astonishing ability to listen to what I tell her

Her patience as she sits quietly beside me, kindly waiting for food first-thing-in-the-morning while I meditate

And most deeply I re-experience
Our many reiki sessions with dear Laurie facilitating,
Where I can feel her growing trust in me and
The exquisite opening of her heart
Which coaxes mine open as well
And which ripples out and nourishes my whole world

And I continue to love her with my heart wide open 💔💔💔💔

Dearest Pia 🐱
May you experience love and ease and joy and Play in the next chapter of your Life 🙏🏻💕🦋🦋

✨✨✨

Dear reader, May you have the experience of living as Love in the midst of whatever transition you’re going through right now 🙏🏻🦋🌈💕

Much love always,
Lauren

Become Empowered to Have It All

The biggest breakthroughs I’ve had in my desires to have it all—the partner, the purpose and connection to myself

Haven’t come as a result of working directly in sessions with a coach or therapist

~They came through holding myself with awareness, groundedness and Love

~While learning through books and then experiencing that understanding as I made direct contact with Life

~And by living my value of Courage in letting everything become my teacher

 
The truth is
For a long time
I resisted a lot of what those coaches and therapists were trying to reveal to me

I was in ego mind

I was trapped in being a victim
Getting triggered by old and new wounds
Unable to move through the resistance

I was mistrustful of my teachers (at times for helpful reasons)

And I honestly wasn’t in a place where I could have major breakthroughs
Despite what my mind wanted

And ultimately, I was crushed by the perceived immensity of what I wanted
By all the obstacles that were created by those desires (mostly generated by my mind)
Like “I’m not worthy of having it all” and
“I have to work through so much stuff before I can have what I want”

And by how long I thought getting it all would take

 
~So, I learned to humbly walk my path instead

~I learned to unhook from my ego mind

~And I was led to the truth that it wasn’t about getting all the things—the partner and the purpose
But to begin living and acting as the woman I most want to be within the relationship with a partner, a purpose and myself

~And I kept getting better and better and better at surrendering to everything—including the desire for breakthroughs!

And through that, I learned to experience breakthroughs on my own and ultimately

I learned to become my own coach

Because the thing is

All those things that a coach might intuit about what’s happening for you
Your blocks or blind spots

You already know what they are!

They’re already floating around in your consciousness
You’re just so hooked by them that you think they are you!

And you can learn the skills to separate yourself from them
To hold yourself courageously enough to see them without judgment 
And to continue to take action that’s fueled by how you want to live this Life—which are your desired Values

Deep down you know yourself better than any coach ever could
You know the things that you hide from others
You know what hooks you
What triggers you
What stops you dead in your tracks
Even if you’re not fully conscious of them right now

And most practically
Why rely on others to hold space for the obstacles that inevitably pop up (for all of us!), when you’re with yourself all of the time

Why get wrapped up in coaching (or therapy!) for years
Rehashing the same issues
And feeling disempowered in that endless process and
Creating more unhelpful fusion with your mind

And so
I’m inviting you to take the first step to
Become your own coach

By joining me for a free, hour-long Valued Direction Discovery session over Zoom

In this session you will uncover
~What you want

And more importantly

~You will discover your Values—which are how you want to act as you move toward what you want

To live your values means you are Living and acting as the person you most want to be in Life

The kind of person you’d be proud of on your deathbed (yes, it’s that serious)

Whether it’s someone who acted with Integrity and kindness as Life threw challenge after challenge at him while he lived his Purpose

Or someone who acted with loving Boldness in their partnership—practicing opening their heart over and over and over again, while also honoring their boundaries

Or someone who treated herself with self-compassion and self-respect and self-love as she moved through old programming, ancient  wounds and unhelpful thoughts on her way to becoming her most beloved Guide, coach and friend

Discovering your values means you get clarity and direction and perpetual guidance in living a life saturated with aliveness and purpose and meaning

No matter what you are getting

~In this session you will also become aware of the (totally normal!) obstacles that you face on your path to living in your desired valued directions

Which means you will be growing in and using the power of awareness and thereby using everything to help you in living a values-guided Life

~You’ll also be lovingly held as you learn all the things you do (that we all do!) to manage the discomfort that comes up in response to the obstacles

Which means you get an experience of empowering awareness that’s needed to notice what’s taking you off your path and gives you the choice to reorient yourself back onto it

~You’ll also learn about the self-empowerment skills that I teach to hold yourself in the midst of whatever obstacles come up and to handle them

Which means you have the opportunity to begin learning the skills to become your own coach, so that you can continue to walk your unique path

 
~If it feels energetically right, I will ask if you would like to coach with me to begin learning and experiencing the foundational skills to become your own coach

Yes—I will ask you to work with me as a coach, while telling you that you ultimately don’t need one!

I’m offering this possibility because I know that it’s helpful to have someone who’s already become their own coach create the context in which others can become their own coaches too

~Your Yes or No to this question will be respected, and whatever you choose, you will leave the session with your values—your intentions for how you want to live this Life—uncovered

Which means you get to experience the value of self-empowerment in your decision and I get to experience my value of Integrity in offering you a choice and respecting your decision

In offering these free sessions while releasing the outcome, I will also be living my value of spreading self-empowerment in this world

And so, would you like to have a Valued Direction Discovery session with me?

Would you like to uncover your desires and most importantly, how you’d like to act and what you’d like to stand for as you walk toward them?

Would you like to learn about the skills to become your own coach?

If your answer is yes, please email me saying that you’re interested in having the free, hour-long Valued Direction Discovery session with me and I’ll respond so that we can set up time to have it

I have space in my Life to work with just four new people, so if your answer is yes to the session, email me as soon as you can

May you continue to grow in clear-direction, Awareness and open-heartedness as you live this precious Life 🙌🏻✨❤️

Much love,
Lauren

✨✨✨✨

In the video below, I share with you a bit more about the journey to becoming my own coach and the invitation to join me in a Valued Direction Discovery session  ✨❤️