I completely bought her pitch—that I could have all the things I wanted
She said I just needed to realize what I wanted and then “do the work”
I was a new coach, wanting to ‘walk my talk’ in being coached myself
And I also wanted my desires!
Oh how many times after that day did I mentally slaughter myself for not reaching my goals in a timely manner, or at all
Getting triggered, hooked and stuck
Focusing solely on goals
Totally in a victim-y fog
I made future goals everything, and I paid no attention to the precious Present
I realized a long time after that first call (and something that I learned to do as well) was that my coach had sold me my desired outcomes
Which is something you can never guarantee
Because the truth is
The coach can’t control the outcome
And neither can the client!
And you’re not supposed to!
As clients, we create the vision, goals and dreams and—most powerfully—we discover the personal qualities that we want to cultivate and embody as we travel our path and follow the vision
Plans are created, and effective, alive, values-inspired action is taken (this is what we can control)
All the while knowing and then learning firsthand that a big part of the work is unhooking again and again from painful thoughts, feelings and memories that get stirred up and try to distract us as we commit ever more deeply to our paths
In doing this work, we open to the truth that the whole point of creating dreams and goals is to begin the journey and get the chance to live as the person who in our hearts we know we’re here to be
It’s in the values-inspired action, in the ways of being that create a rich, meaningful Life
Our goals are like landmarks
They're markers that we pass on our deeper journey of living and acting in ways that help us grow into the person we want to be
Goals will be reached—or not
They inspire us to take the journey, but they’re not the thing at all
As Louis L’Amour states in this soul-awakening string of words:
“The trail is the thing. Not the end of the trail. Travel too fast, and you miss all you are traveling for”
And so I know now that the Truer way, is to sell the Trail
And Live the Trail,
In full surrender
Because it’s really up to Life as to whether we get what we want
And yet as we are infused with and acting on the qualities of being that make us come alive and empower us no matter what is happening, the journey will never be the same
For whole point of the Journey is how we’re living this Life
Much love,
Lauren