I feel uncomfortable sharing this (and my mind is judging it as too intimate and maybe over-the-top)
But my truth is
I’m not meant to give birth to a child in this lifetime
My purpose in this Life is to
Birth myself
And to create and hold space for others to learn to birth themselves too
~
I had the experience when I was caring for my mom when she was sick
Of unconditional love
Of self-sacrifice
Of worry and exhaustion
Of sorrow and helplessness that I couldn't control what was happening to her
Or make it better
I had the divine Mother experience of opening my heart and unconditionally loving her
Of feeling joy in her presence
And awe of her surrendered Strength
And I feel unending gratitude that I had both experiences with her—being mothered by her and mothering her in return
And ultimately having the experience of birthing her into another realm aided by my Love
And in my deep heart
After she left this physical Life
I knew I was being pulled to do something other than birth and raise a beautiful being
Her leaving unleashed me to walk a path that was hidden from my awareness before that time
~
It took me years to realize
Through struggle and triumph and pain and curiosity and loving boldness
That I was in essence
Becoming a Midwife
First for myself
As I went through years of therapy
And then coaching
And I came to a place where
I learned what was helpful and not so helpful
About being held by someone else
And I continually built up the inner strength to learn and experience how to hold myself
And then I knew that it was possible to teach and facilitate for others the experience of holding themselves
~
When I say birth myself
I mean have an intention for how I want to grow as a human
And what I want to embody
And stand for as a woman
A container
A direction to point my unique compass in this Lifetime
And to continuously create what will be in service to that intention, embodiment and direction
And to walk in that direction
Knowing that I’m never going to reach the end point
That there is no end point
It’s the process of the Journey that’s the intention
Knowing all the while that this journey will challenge me
Frighten me
Enrage me
Stress me out at times
And my mind will generate unhelpful thoughts in response
And recall unhelpful memories as a way to try to stop me
And I am my own Midwife
When I hold all those feelings
Become aware of all those unhelpful thoughts
And be so bold as to place them in my hands
So I can look at them
And not from them
So that I stay with myself in the messiness of Life
And still act as the woman I want to be
Heading in the direction that I want to travel
Even if I’m sitting on the side of the road in anguish
I can sit there in the energy of self-compassion
And eventually get up and begin walking again
Enacting these skills and ways of being
Anoint me as my own Midwife
To hold everything as “She”
My deep being
And live a Life that’s bold and present and embodied and Alive because of it
~
Midwife means to bring into being
A new embodiment
And it means assisting development
To midwife means to be the deep Feminine
To be open to all of reality
The pain as well as the elation
To not shrink in the face of any of it
But to stay grounded and present and utterly Loving
And as I do that
As We do that
We give birth—again and again—to a full, ecstatic and Real embodiment of each of us 🔥❤️
✨✨✨✨
And so
Dear friend,
Are you like me?
Have you been opened to more than what’s offered in a conventional Life?
Have you devoted much time to deep coaching or therapeutic work with others?
Do you have an inner urge to access and grow what’s deep inside of you?
To be Birthed anew
And have you had the inkling that you’re the one to do that,
That you’re ultimately the only one who can do it?
To continually birth yourself into this world ✨
And all that wants to get created through that gloriously messy and real process?
~
In the work that I do with coaching clients:
~An energetic container is created to hold the intention of Transformation
This is not about goals or things (these are created in service to the container of transformation but they are not the thing)
Instead we are asked
How we would like to grow
And what we want to embody as a human
And what we want to stand for in this Life
~I hold objective, flexible, deeply Feminine space for you and the container of transformation
As a Midwife, I hold you in the energy of whatever is being stirred up by the energies of growth and transformation
While I facilitate the learning and experiencing of the skills for you to hold yourself
~As you experience living and practicing and acting in service to it and give birthing to it
And you learn to become your own Midwife in the process of it all—holding yourself as you honor your intention of Transformation by living it
~While learning and experiencing how to surrender to Life, which determines all the rest
This means to surrender to how and when and if that transformation happens! That maybe something totally different happens!
To learn that Transformation is not a “thing” to be bought off-the-shelf
But it’s a process
And it requires trust of Life
And the asking for transformation to happen for the good of all
~
And so, do you want to stand for the Feminine (that’s present in both women and men)
That can be the nurturing, static, protective, safe Feminine?
Or the dynamic, creative Feminine that causes something new to be born?
That is the ecstatic energy of Growth
The nurturing, mothering aspect of the Feminine can be helpful at times
And over time (as I’ve experienced) it can bring feelings of listlessness, boredom and depression in it’s insistence on safety and sameness
While the dynamic, transformative Feminine
When allowed to flourish after being suppressed for so long
Brings the whole kaleidoscope of feelings and energies
As it reaches for new Life
In it’s unique expression of humanness and creativity and growth
~
To give you an experience of the work that I facilitate within a coaching relationship, I’m offering you a free session with me called Igniting the Deep Feminine Fire of Transformation
In this session over Zoom
~We will mine what energetic changes you wish to midwife within yourself
~We will illuminate how you’ll act in service to these desired energetic changes
~You’ll have an experience of psychic skills that will empower the holding of your courageous container of transformation
~While I create and hold energetic space as the deep Feminine, the Midwife
If it feels energetically right, at the end of the session, I’ll ask if you’d like to hear about how we could work together in a coaching relationship to nurture your container of transformation and develop the midwifing skills to birth it and You
If your answer is no, it will be respected
I won’t guilt you into anything because you experienced a free session with me 🙏🏻
~
Moving away from dynamic change and transformation (one facet of the deep Feminine)
Constricts life
But yes, igniting the container of transformation takes courage!
And it can be painful
And it’s really not possible to go back once it’s ignited
Any more than you can go back to not being pregnant once the pains of childbirth have begun
And yet the process of learning the midwifing skills
In service to that divine intention of transformation
Is like being a midwife to a soon-to-be-mother
You are assisting something gloriously,
Dynamically new in being born into this world
And as you ask yourself whether you’ll stand for the sameness of protection or the ecstasy of creation,
Should you chose the path of growth and transformation
Vitality and new life are experienced
And the pain endured feels worthy and worth it
~
A client who experienced an Igniting the Deep Feminine Fire of Transformation session
Was awakened to all the ways she bought into creating a Life that was safe
And how it left her energetically, depressingly indifferent to the nuances and beauty of Life
And she was opened up to the energy deep within her that wanted to be claimed and embodied and Lived
And she went on to begin the work of birthing those changes within her and the world
While learning to hold all the unhelpful thoughts and painful feelings that sprouted up
As she learned to become her own Midwife 🔥✨🧜♀️
And so, would you like to have an Igniting the Deep Feminine Fire of Transformation session with me?
If your answer is yes, please email me saying that you’re interested in having the free, hour-long Igniting the Deep Feminine Fire of Transformation session over Zoom with me and I’ll reply back so that we can set up time to have it
I have space in my Life to work with just two new people, so if your answer is yes to the session, reply back to me as soon as you can
May you continue to grow in zest for experiencing the fullness of Life, as you embody your deepest intended qualities and energies and experience the deeply Feminine empowerment of becoming your own Midwife ❤️🙏🏻💫
Much love to you,
Lauren
P.S. To read more about my journey of learning what Transformation is, click here.