Mourning + Reconnection (+ Poem For Marie)

80s Marie.jpg

Throughout the years that I've been a coach, even a health coach, I notice that I've been so inspired to write about my mom. 

Her passing gave me the push to live an unconventional life, according to my previous standards. 

As I created the poem below, I fully acknowledged that part of my purpose is not only as a coach and spiritual teacher of all relationships (especially the one you have with yourself!), but as a coach in service to relationships where one person has passed, or as I say, transitioned. 

The truth is, this transitioned person lives on as energy, and so does the relationship. 

Part of the work that I'm being guided to do is to facilitate as people mourn the passing of their loved ones. 

This is different than just grieving. Grieving means holding on to the old, while mourning is a purging and releasing, while still honoring and deepening the connection you have with your loved one. 

This also involves (although not always right away) connecting with the energy of the transitioned person, if it's in the highest good of all to do so. 

And so the beautiful process is to grieve the loss if necessary, actively mourn it and then connect with the energy of your relationship with this person right now.

Healing and restoring this relationship gives you the space and energy to create and re-create more beautiful relationships in your life, whatever they may be—relationship to yourself, your purpose, your partner, your children, to life.

Part of my deep mourning was the acknowledgment that I was clinging to what my mom's physical body was like at the time she passed. 

And I had the knowing that this is no longer relevant. It's no longer reality. 

Choosing to release those moments of pain and be with her energy in the Now was part of my beautiful work.

I have a deep sense that most of us have not mourned those we've lost and are still stuck in grief, sometimes for years. 

If feels as if there is a collective not knowing what to do with someone who's experienced a loss and so we shy away and hope they do some healing on their own. 

But what really happens is because we really don't know how to mourn, the pain gets shoved down and we distract ourselves with the busyness of life. 

This was my experience. 

As I've become more and more conscious and I continue to unfold my path, I know how important this piece is in one's evolution. And I'm awake to the knowing that part of my reason for being here is to guide people in this process.

If you feel stirred by this email and would like to connect about a loss you've had and are open to the possibility of working together in this co-creative process of mourning and relationship reconnection, please click here to email me. 

I'm offering a free hour and a half video call to shine a light on your loss and uncover what you'd like to release. If it feels good to both of us, I will propose a way for us to work together in this process. You always have the option of saying yes or no to my proposal. 

I'm honored to receive whoever responds to this offering. 

Much love always,


I realize the pain that I used to feel as I thought of your passing
Was purely the remembrance of what your physical body was like at the time it transitioned

I notice that I've clung to that memory of your suffering
As a way to prolong my own;
Thinking that was the way I needed to remember you 

I now forgivingly perceive that this was a futile way to honor your essence

What *was* in the days and moments before you transitioned no longer *is*

I kept it alive as a memory in my weary mind
Which has awakened

Now I am deeply aware that you still exist as pure energy

And so you are with me always

Within my breath,
encircling me
Cheering me on

How could you not be?

I am bestowed with the grace of connecting with you in each moment I consciously choose to

And I reach you as never before,
Dissolving old wounds

Overwhelmingly, heart-burstingly feeling and knowing your pride and love for me

Honoring and deeply appreciating your desire for me to

Which is where you are, too

I feel your energy as fuller and even more blindingly radiant than it was in your physical body

And I echo your full radiance with absolute glee

~~Lauren Malloy

Picture circa 1983 ♥