The Trail Is the Thing

 

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I completely bought her pitch—that I could have all the things I wanted

She said I just needed to realize what I wanted and then “do the work”

I was a new coach, wanting to ‘walk my talk’ in being coached myself

And I also wanted my desires!

Oh how many times after that day did I mentally slaughter myself for not reaching my goals in a timely manner, or at all

Getting triggered, hooked and stuck

Focusing solely on goals

Totally in a victim-y fog

I made future goals everything, and I paid no attention to the precious Present

I realized a long time after that first call (and something that I learned to do as well) was that my coach had sold me my desired outcomes

Which is something you can never guarantee

Because the truth is

The coach can’t control the outcome

And neither can the client!

And you’re not supposed to!

As clients, we create the vision, goals and dreams and—most powerfully—we discover the personal qualities that we want to cultivate and embody as we travel our path and follow the vision

Plans are created, and effective, alive, values-inspired action is taken (this is what we can control)

All the while knowing and then learning firsthand that a big part of the work is unhooking again and again from painful thoughts, feelings and memories that get stirred up and try to distract us as we commit ever more deeply to our paths

In doing this work, we open to the truth that the whole point of creating dreams and goals is to begin the journey and get the chance to live as the person who in our hearts we know we’re here to be

It’s in the values-inspired action, in the ways of being that create a rich, meaningful Life

Our goals are like landmarks

They're markers that we pass on our deeper journey of living and acting in ways that help us grow into the person we want to be

Goals will be reached—or not

They inspire us to take the journey, but they’re not the thing at all

As Louis L’Amour states in this soul-awakening string of words:

“The trail is the thing. Not the end of the trail. Travel too fast, and you miss all you are traveling for”

 
And so I know now that the Truer way, is to sell the Trail

And Live the Trail,
In full surrender

Because it’s really up to Life as to whether we get what we want

And yet as we are infused with and acting on the qualities of being that make us come alive and empower us no matter what is happening, the journey will never be the same

For whole point of the Journey is how we’re living this Life

Much love,
Lauren

 


I See You


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I wanted this relationship to be “perfect”

I wanted to be “perfect”

And yet here I was struggling to reconcile what was before me 

I had blown up
Spewing words and sharp energy 

And now my mind told me I had soiled my good girl persona
Again

I sat with the anger and sadness that was the direct aftermath 

I let it assault my mind and body 

And then I did something that I was starting to get better at doing 

I unpeeled those thoughts and feelings as if they were Velcro 

And witnessed them right before me 

Fear
I feel you gnawing away in my belly
Just like you did when I got nervous as a child 

I see you

Anger 
I feel your heat and passion and jagged energy
Just wanting everything to go your way

I see you 

Despair 
I feel the gaping hole in my chest as I let the pain flood in unabated

I see you 

I witness you all as part of the bigger tapestry that is Me

I feel the pure relief in letting it all be there
Not extinguishing it
Not trying to alchemize it
Not allowing it to take me over 
But letting it be 
Observing it 
Being with it 

Being with myself in all states 

Wondering at these budding feelings of true self acceptance

Letting the newness encourage feelings of nervousness and excitement to bubble up

Realizing that Light wants to come in to join the dark this time 

And staying unhooked from needing that to happen at all

Resting groundedly now in my Self, with everything dancing and swirling around me 

Ready to mend what was ruptured 

~~Lauren Malloy

 


The Deeper Message


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I've resisted writing about my time at Connection Camp, because I knew I'd be sharing the biggest end-result—being diagnosed with Lyme Disease

I resisted it because my mind-based desire is to only write about positive outcomes—as well as experience them! 

As I felt the early overwhelming symptoms of what seemed like a summer flu, my mind mercilessly flung a harsh judgment at me: "You're a failure!" 

My mind was swimming in negativity—even using the fact that I started out as a health coach—and used that energy to beat me up, saying that I should have known better ("use bug spray *every* day at camp, not just the first day!") and "this shouldn't be happening because you're constantly working on yourself!"

My inner victim cried "I've had enough obstacles on this path, please don't give me another one!"

During this onslaught I managed to become conscious in order to unhook from all the unhelpful thoughts and identification with failure, seeing them as just thoughts and not who I Am

As I became grounded, I was able to seek for the deeper meaning of what was happening

What came through is the need for conscious self-care, on all levels

As I held space for myself during the first few days

The most profound gift I received was consciously coming face to face with one of the biggest beliefs that's plagued me for so long (and that ironically came out of my misperception of many spiritual teachings—along with conventional teachings) …and one that causes so much pain

It's the belief that everything needs to go my way or else "I'm doing it wrong"

The more we believe that, the more miserable we're going to be 

The truth is that Life will bring us what is most needed

Whether we judge it as "good" or "bad" does not matter

What matters is how we choose to relate to it—we can see it for it's deeper messages and learn the profound lessons of Life, or we can see it as something bad and therefore shut down

And yes—I know this very well!—*choosing* to see the deeper meaning of anything and therefore not taking on victim energy is not easy and doesn't always happen right away!

I fell into the role of victim for years, until I learned to let go of control over what was happening, thereby regaining a sense of true power

This time I could have stayed in victim mode

Thinking that I was wrong and that nothing "ever" works out for me

I could have resisted the antibiotics prescribed to me because as a holistic coach I know what this will do to my gut health

Or I could be grateful to them for helping me work through this time

Being this surrendered helped me stay open to an alternative, holistic and deeper healing protocol, which will nurture me in ways I didn't realize I needed 

And so… how about using everything that Life gives me?

What if I employ this event to become even more conscious and therefore more aware of what my Being needs to thrive in this time?

How about being more present, more nurturing, more aware of what's going on in all ways?

As a result of letting go of judgments about this happening, surrendering to what is and therefore committing to conscious self-care, an entirely different world opened up

I'm not fighting an inner battle
I'm more effective and efficient in anything I'm doing

I'm more focused on doing what it takes to create what I want in life and living as the sort of person I want to be

I'm more open to any interaction that I have with others, even if they aren't treating me the way my mind wants them to

I hold stronger and clearer boundaries with others
I'm even more honest with others, despite the fear that it could hurt our relationship

My love of functional foods has been reinvigorated and I nurture myself with more healing and supportive ingredients

I giggle more and feel pure joy uncaused by outer thing 

I sleep deeper and feel more ease
I feel my body even more, noticing the tingles, slight movements of energy and pulsations

I honor, maintain and adjust my energy level so that I don't burn out…and I have more energy as I do this

Now the energy that pours through my body is more natural and flowing instead of intense

I shed even more energetic tightness so that my face appears clearer and more open

I'm more in-the-moment, noticing outward beauty, inward beauty, hearing Nature sounds and the inner sounds that signal that I'm a living, breathing woman

I ultimately received the gift of directly experiencing the connection, joy and *empowerment* that result when we are present with Life, no matter what is happening

Much Love,
Lauren  

(Picture taken at Connection Camp, unselfconsciously in my Masculine/Yang energy while playing team charades during Color Olympics 💙💙💙, courtesy of Mary Catanzaro 😘)

Light + Dark


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The truth about being a coach is you’re not meant to be someone who has everything pulled together, achieved and perfectly figured out

That’s really not the point at all

It’s to hold space to empower others to live their lives to the fullest and grandest 

And the even deeper reason for being a coach—the one I resisted for so long—is it’s a potent way to grow yourself 

And growing yourself can be painful!

Truly living the life of a coach brings up old core wounds over and over again until you finally can be with them so that they release their hold on you

It took me years to be able to be with the core belief that “I’m not good enough”

I resisted that it was actually present in my experience (I can be quite good at pushing away unwanted thoughts and feelings)

I couldn’t accept that it’s just a belief that I’ve held onto and not who I am 

And what I couldn’t understand once I was able to see it, was that it didn’t have to be obliterated from my world—it can still exist, but not control me

The more I could be with it without pushing it away, denying it or trying to fix it 

The more alive I felt as I surrendered to the pain that was tied to it and let it wash over and through me 

The more empowered I became, as I let that string of words just be there with no attachment 

The more I grew in compassion for every other human who is holding onto the same belief, and similar beliefs 

The more awake I became to helping others unhook from painful beliefs and feelings as well 

 

I could have stayed in a corporate job

With the stability that it provided 

And I never would have gotten to touch the depths of who I am as I have in this wilderness that is my Life 

Each struggle has me become more present,
more surrendered, 
more willing to be with myself—all parts of myself
To hold myself, 
and to trust in what Life brings me

Learning to live by an internal guide 
that has me appreciate all the moments when I reach what I want to create
Yet knowing that the end-goal isn't the real reason I persist 

It’s to be that person I’m here to be, as I continually act in ways that honor what I desire
Working my way through every obstacle 
Coming out Lighter 

And gratefully empowered because I’ve learned to meet, be with, and even Love my darkness

Because I am both light and dark ☯

Much love,
Lauren


Photo credit: Kiersten Gluck 


About Me


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He looked at me with warmth, compassion and sorrow and said "we should end the marriage."

 I managed to push away all words of protestation, but deep in my body I felt a searing pain.

I had a fierce knowing that it could be possible to rescue this union, but I didn't know how and I was tired after months of uncertainty, anger and repeated pain.

So I simply agreed with him.

And so 10 years ago I set off on a path that was fully my own.

This journey entailed me acknowledging that I truly wanted to be free from this relationship, thereby accessing my hidden Warrior energy, and ending all facets of the marriage myself.

This Warrior energy also stirred up a strong call within me for more meaningful work than the corporate work I was engaged in, while my deepening Feminine energy began to realize a desire for true partnership that was connected and authentic.  

I relished those desires and let them incubate, while I used my Feminine energy along with my Warrior to care for my first love—my mom who had been sick for many years and was getting sicker.

Losing her was the deepest pain I'd ever felt, and part of me transitioned right along with her.

I let go of who I was when held in her loving gaze, and opened up to becoming a fuller expression of who I Am.

In the months following her passing, I learned to listen to my inner knowing, even when it didn't seem logical.

This knowing led me to leave the corporate world to become a health coach, without really knowing what that would mean to me, my life and my path.

The process of becoming a coach, and living it, deepened the pathway into myself, stirring up and transforming old and new feelings of pain, limitation and rejection as I continued to step ever deeper on this trail.

Being able to be with this darkness opened me up to the gifts of connection, freedom, purpose, Love and joy.

By entering myself more fully, I entered coaching ever more deeply and I trained tirelessly and enthusiastically, earning another coaching certification, trying out unconventional healing methods, developing skills in belief change and even taking improv classes.

My development rippled out to benefit others as well, and as a coach I grew to have the keen knowing that I am a teacher and a student, a guide and an ally to these beautiful people who I get to call clients and friends.

The seeds of desire that I planted years ago are strong, and they've grown into a coaching practice that is my calling, relationships with men that are conscious and healing, and passionate connection to myself and the world.

This part of my upward spiral has come full circle, as I coach and empower people who are awakening to the deep desire to connect to purpose-filled work, conscious partnership, their sexuality—and Themselves.

Much love,
Lauren

~~

Sunlight poured down on me as I looked up at the brilliant blue sky
Grateful for it's warmth and Love

Feeling the strength it was offering me
Intuiting that it was acting as a catalyst for me to get in touch with my own strength

I let everything empty out of me
To be filled up with a truer version

Becoming familiar with and then reveling in the newness and uncertainty of this act
Letting it all happen in a space that was wide open
Noticing and feeling the aliveness of everything

Opening to the knowing that all that was on my path—and ever will be—is just as it's meant to be

Creating a vision of what's to come
And yet fully surrendering to how it would bloom

Thereby trusting Life

And feeling the freedom and Joy in that

~~Lauren Malloy

Recommit

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He felt so open, so connected and so vulnerable as I started to speak, and I was almost drawn back into him.

Instead I began with the truth, telling him that I was nervous to talk because I feared I would change my mind when I was in his energy.

This admission miraculously gave me strength and ease in telling him that I wanted to end the relationship.

I told him clearly that my desire is to be with a man who is grounded and connected to himself first and foremost, then to his mission and purpose (and kids if he has them) and then to me and only me.

And the same for me… connected to myself first, then to my purpose and then to him and only him.

I ended it with love and compassion.

And I thanked him wholeheartedly for not attempting to change my mind.

If I had, I would be putting his happiness above my own, which was once a huge pattern in my life, and one that needed to remain broken.

With this vision boldly clarified and declared, I turned my attention back to me
To my sacred focal point
To take care of myself on all levels
Knowing ever more deeply that I am the only one who can and is supposed to do it

Recommitting to myself
And to my Purpose
In all the ways it does and will manifest

Continuing to tread this beautiful path as it unfolds right before me … fully surrendered and open

~~Lauren Malloy

 

Me


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I had major resistance to posting this picture and my self-judgment that it's not meaningful  

And I'm posting it because I simply love it….and because I realized that it *is* immensely meaningful 

I know that a big part of the power in pictures comes from who's taking them and how you feel about him or her and the situation you're in 

I love that this one was taken by Me and it shows my pure essence

As I look at it, I feel the joy which is the result of the accumulated energy of all that I had experienced in the potent week that it was taken, along with giddy exhaustion

I feel radiant Love and approval of all that I am, without cosmetic enhancements, as I let my spirit shine through my Being

In it I feel my Little Girl who was re-awakened this year, alive as she ever was and ready to play

I see the woman who feels her unique beauty and radiance and delights in sharing it with others and who sees the beauty and radiance in them too

I detect underlying sadness, perhaps a premonition of what I will soon allow myself to experience and feel 

I notice a woman who's no longer afraid to feel her darkest emotions, knowing that I can be with myself as I feel them and move through them 

I see the pure joy that's possible when I allow myself to feel it 

I see a vulnerable openness that wasn't there before

I see a woman who's not afraid to ask for what she wants and is courageously unattached to the outcome

I notice a woman who more and more has come to love herself as she is, coaxing out an even more powerful version of It

I see a woman who is fully alive and in the present moment

Love (+ Poem)

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14 years ago today I got married.

The truth is I didn't get a taste of what real love is until 7 years into the relationship, when the marriage began breaking down.

The pain of those days impelled me to wake up and I slipped into a different dimension.

That experience gave me the gift of knowing and being the Love that I am, and therefore allowing me to love him in a deeper and truer way, all the while knowing we would no longer be together.

I loved him simply as a human being who is also Love, while loving myself as well.

I was so connected at that time, when massive heart crisis opened me to loving someone without wanting to change them or judge them.

I truly saw him in those early breakup days. I felt his pain. I felt the truth of the new relationships he was forming. And I released my attachment to him, for the good of us both.

But my capacity to love in the midst of great pain was forgotten as I did the necessary work to dissolve our financial union.

Had we not been joined in money, our breakup could have been a beautiful co-creation, which it had already started becoming.

It seems as if one of my life lessons was to forget what real Love is and then have the grace to remember it again, with even fuller consciousness.

Which I do.

I know that Love is who I am.

I am powerfully rooted in myself as Love and I know that this is my solid foundation. The only thing that can shake it is my unconsciousness.

As I am Being love, I feel the freedom that is born from it.

Relishing this freedom, I give myself the nourishment that I kept looking for from others.

That love then sprouts outward to the world, ready to join whatever relationship I'm consciously co-creating in the moment.
 

Love

I stumbled into it

I bloomed into a force of Love and acted from there

In the midst of pain and perceived betrayal

I could see the light within him and I loved him profoundly

I mourned him, released him, freed him to go wherever his path lead

And now I re-learn to be this Love that I always was

Loving myself deeper

*Being* myself deeper

Not looking to anyone to take care of me
or make me happy

Viscerally knowing that it's my duty to do that for myself

Connecting again and again with the highest part of myself in the process

The only way to Be

~~Lauren Malloy

Mourning + Reconnection (+ Poem For Marie)

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Throughout the years that I've been a coach, even a health coach, I notice that I've been so inspired to write about my mom. 

Her passing gave me the push to live an unconventional life, according to my previous standards. 

As I created the poem below, I fully acknowledged that part of my purpose is not only as a coach and spiritual teacher of all relationships (especially the one you have with yourself!), but as a coach in service to relationships where one person has passed, or as I say, transitioned. 

The truth is, this transitioned person lives on as energy, and so does the relationship. 

Part of the work that I'm being guided to do is to facilitate as people mourn the passing of their loved ones. 

This is different than just grieving. Grieving means holding on to the old, while mourning is a purging and releasing, while still honoring and deepening the connection you have with your loved one. 

This also involves (although not always right away) connecting with the energy of the transitioned person, if it's in the highest good of all to do so. 

And so the beautiful process is to grieve the loss if necessary, actively mourn it and then connect with the energy of your relationship with this person right now.

Healing and restoring this relationship gives you the space and energy to create and re-create more beautiful relationships in your life, whatever they may be—relationship to yourself, your purpose, your partner, your children, to life.

~
Part of my deep mourning was the acknowledgment that I was clinging to what my mom's physical body was like at the time she passed. 

And I had the knowing that this is no longer relevant. It's no longer reality. 

Choosing to release those moments of pain and be with her energy in the Now was part of my beautiful work.

~
I have a deep sense that most of us have not mourned those we've lost and are still stuck in grief, sometimes for years. 

If feels as if there is a collective not knowing what to do with someone who's experienced a loss and so we shy away and hope they do some healing on their own. 

But what really happens is because we really don't know how to mourn, the pain gets shoved down and we distract ourselves with the busyness of life. 

This was my experience. 

As I've become more and more conscious and I continue to unfold my path, I know how important this piece is in one's evolution. And I'm awake to the knowing that part of my reason for being here is to guide people in this process.

If you feel stirred by this email and would like to connect about a loss you've had and are open to the possibility of working together in this co-creative process of mourning and relationship reconnection, please click here to email me. 

I'm offering a free hour and a half video call to shine a light on your loss and uncover what you'd like to release. If it feels good to both of us, I will propose a way for us to work together in this process. You always have the option of saying yes or no to my proposal. 

I'm honored to receive whoever responds to this offering. 

Much love always,
Lauren
 

Marie

I realize the pain that I used to feel as I thought of your passing
Was purely the remembrance of what your physical body was like at the time it transitioned

I notice that I've clung to that memory of your suffering
As a way to prolong my own;
Thinking that was the way I needed to remember you 

I now forgivingly perceive that this was a futile way to honor your essence

What *was* in the days and moments before you transitioned no longer *is*

I kept it alive as a memory in my weary mind
Which has awakened

Now I am deeply aware that you still exist as pure energy

And so you are with me always

Within my breath,
encircling me
Cheering me on

How could you not be?

I am bestowed with the grace of connecting with you in each moment I consciously choose to

And I reach you as never before,
Dissolving old wounds

Overwhelmingly, heart-burstingly feeling and knowing your pride and love for me

Honoring and deeply appreciating your desire for me to
live
right
in
*this* 
precious
moment, 
always

Which is where you are, too

I feel your energy as fuller and even more blindingly radiant than it was in your physical body

And I echo your full radiance with absolute glee


~~Lauren Malloy


Picture circa 1983 ♥

 

Chiseler

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Throughout this journey, I've often felt like a huge chunk of marble
That's getting chiseled bit by bit

At times a big piece will fall off the block that is me;
Causing immense pain as it clunks to the ground

Other times it's just subtle shards that slip off;
Which don't seem like much,
But have the effect of lightening me and shifting my perceptions

The more I chip away, the more I think I'll be done.
But I am not!

A different area gets focused on;
And more potential pain

Then surges of joy as I see the resultant growth, manifestations and beauty

Everything that falls away will always be a part of me,
If only as a memory;
But it has served it's purpose and is no longer needed

I love each piece that slides away,
Especially those that caused me the most suffering

Because these have me wake up the most
And learn quickly and intrinsically what I need to

I bless it
I release it
I revel in my work-in-progress-ness!

And I surrender to what must be let go of next

All the parts that I agreed to possess when I came here,
They all serve their purpose;
Even if they appear to be creating the opposite of what I want

My purposeful sculpting reveals the gem behind the fear-laden protective chunks

And has me own that I am a fearless, loving, creative  

Chiseler

 

~~Lauren Malloy

Transition

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When my mom transitioned 5-1/2 years ago, in a way, I did too. 

There was a moment in the hours after she passed that the idea to write and deliver a eulogy for her popped into my mind. 

This idea most surely came from the highest part of me, as the mental and physical parts never would have agreed to this (!), let alone even thought to do it. 

In that moment I took all the growth that I had experienced up until that point in my life and started on a path of my own making. 

I cried sharply as I wrote the words, which seemed to float to me as I sat in my mom's spot on her couch. I could palpably feel her energy with me. 

I read them enough times to be able to deliver them without being completely moved to tears at the truth of them. 

I wrote them to give recognition to the women she was and so that others could get a glimpse of the side of her only I could see. She was a contradiction in a lot of ways, just like me. 

Writing and delivering those words foreshadowed two of the ways my Purpose would unfold. 

As I look back, losing her propelled me to live a life full of love, expanding consciousness and life purpose. 

The experience of loving her in those last few years of her life her showed me how to love myself, others and how to use that love in service to the world. 

Feeling her energy even more strongly now, has me realize over and over again that we really are all connected. 

Her passing called me forward. The difference this time is that I didn't push the thought or desire away. I listened and I acted. Even if I took small steps at first. Especially if I took those tiny steps. 

That calling forward is happening to all of us, no exception. We each have even more that's possible to become and know and experience. 

I listen more and more to what spirit tells me (even when it came to writing this post) and I do it ♥

Much love,
Lauren

 

~For Marie:

9.23.12

I haven't met anyone quite like my mother. She was so incredibly strong inside, despite outward appearances. I saw this firsthand over the last year of her life as she battled another horrible disease. She did it with grace and dignity and always with a good nature, and I am honored to have been on that journey with her.  

You might think her illness made our lives sad, but really the opposite was true. Although we couldn't know she would leave us at this particular time, we all realized our days together were few and precious. So, we lived them to the fullest, given her condition. We took yearly trips to our beloved Boothbay Harbor, Maine, we went out to dinner many, many times and we went on long drives to see the leaves changing.

My mom enjoyed simple pleasures such as noticing when the rose bush she had planted years ago had a bloom, or how beautiful the sky looked when it was filled with cumulus clouds. She loved anytime I brought something new home and insisted I bring it over to her so she could look at it.   

Despite her ongoing health issues, she thought nothing of listening to the troubles of others and through the years continued to add people onto her prayer list, keeping them on even after they had died. Everybody in this room is most likely on her list.

When the situation changed for my Mom as her disease progressed, a different part of her personality emerged. I like to say she became very adorable. She watched things on TV that surprised me such as the X Games, she secretly completed her daily crossword and Sudoku puzzles when she should have been doing her paperwork, she completely charmed any nurse who attended to her when she spent time in the hospital over the years and she fell hopelessly in love with my sister's dog Maddie, even telling one of us that she hoped she died before Maddie did because she couldn't bear the thought of losing her.

I never wanted her to leave us but I know now she is always with us.

She was a confidante, a kindred spirit, a trustworthy co-pilot on long car rides and a mother who never let you forget you were unconditionally loved. 

~Lauren Malloy

 

Photo from 2005

The Cave + The Treasure (+ Recipe + Video)

During my years of self development, quotes have always helped solidify what I was feeling inside but couldn't articulate.

The best quotes rocked me to the core and gave me necessary clarity.

There was one recently that helped me make sense of something that I've been drawn to like a moth to a flame but couldn't fully embrace:

"The cave you are most afraid to enter is the one that holds the treasure you seek"  - Joseph Campbell

This is why I find myself going toward things that scare the crap out of me!

And why it's so worth it to continue to press through the fear....

~I want the treasure
~I want to never sleepwalk through my life again (that's the main reason I was depressed years ago)
~I want to keep remembering that life begins at the edge of my comfort zone, even if it's super-hard to get there

What's hard for you?

What's something you think might make you feel just a little more alive, but you just don't have the courage to go there yet?

-Having a difficult conversation with someone close to you in order to bring a breath of fresh air to the relationship?
-Thinking about steps you'd need to take to leave a horrible, stressful job?
-Is it fermenting veggies, like in my last post?

That might sound silly, but it's totally valid.

When I was in cooking school, many assignments gave me anxiety, until I eased into them and felt the resulting happiness, relief that it wasn't as hard as I'd feared and a sense of accomplishment.

A lot of clients have told me they feel intimidated at the thought of making milk kefir (yes, I'm still on a whole food probiotic kick ;D )

Milk kefir is a fermented beverage that contains beneficial probiotics.

-It's high in vitamin B12 which helps with the assimilation of vitamin A, which is required for looking younger naturally.
-It also contains vitamin K2, which prevents wrinkling and premature skin aging.
-It also helps reduce food cravings because the body feels more nourished.

I add it to my smoothie for creaminess and flavor (and for a jolt of probiotic goodness).

Here's a video that shows how I do it :)

Enjoy, and keep dancing at your comfort zone's edge.

<3
Lauren
 

Milk Kefir

Ingredients
-4 cups whole milk, pasture-raised (also called grass-fed) or raw
-1 packet kefir starter (I use Body Ecology)
-1 scoop prebiotic, to feed the starter (I use EcoBloom by Body Ecology) 

 Optional Equipment
-1/2 gallon mason jar
-canning funnel

Directions
1. Add packet of kefir starter and prebiotic to the jar
2. Heat the milk to 90 degrees
3. Pour milk into the jar and whisk so that it combines with the starter/prebiotic
4. Let ferment on your counter for 12 to 24 hours 

Making transfers

-Instead of using another packet when going to make a new batch of kefir, you can use 6 tbsp of the existing batch to create a new one; so that would be 4 cups of whole milk + 6 tbsp of existing kefir
-You can do this 6 times before you need to use a new kefir packet

Spring Clean Your Gut (+ Recipe + Video!!)

Ok. You're probably sick of hearing about your gut, but just stick with me.

Spring cleaning your gut is all about having good gut bacteria.

We hit on this back in the summer when I zoodled my pinkie nail right off (!) and countered the course of antibiotics I was put on with whole food probiotics.

What are some reasons why you'd want more good gut bacteria than bad?

To get glowing skin
To feel more satisfied after meals
To reduce sugar cravings
To increase digestion

And the #1 reason you want good gut bacteria….to lose weight.

Overweight people have more of a type of gut bacteria that causes them to extract more calories from food, making them gain weight.*

And now I’m gonna just go there and get a little graphic…

There was a ground-breaking study done in 2013 of twins where the gut bacteria from the obese twin was transferred into a thin mouse and the mouse grew fat.

And when the bacteria from the thin twin was put into a thin mouse, the mouse stayed thin as long as it ate a healthy diet.*

Pretty cool, huh?  (Nothin' like a little talk about fecal transplants to whet your appetite! ;D )

Anyway :)....one of the most awesome ways to boost good gut bacteria and get thin is by eating fermented (cultured) veggies.

Guess what I’m going to write next…

Yup, ferment your own veggies :)

It's not that hard (!), just give it shot. Below you'll find a recipe for Fresh + Light Cultured Veggies.

And to show you that fermenting is not that difficult once you wrap your head around the mechanics, I've made a quick video.

Enjoy and have fun with it!

Xoxo,
Lauren

* Info credit: Brain Maker, David Perlmutter, MD

 

Fresh + Light Cultured Veggies

Ingredients
-2 medium heads of tightly packed cabbage, shredded in a food processor (NOTE: keep the outer cabbage leaves, these will be used later)
-4 carrots, shredded in a food processor
-5 to 6 scallions, thinly sliced
-2 to 4 tbsp chopped fresh ginger
-1 to 2 tbsp red pepper flakes
-1 orange, juiced and zested
-1 to 2 garlic cloves, minced (optional but it adds good flavor)
-2 tbsp honey or 1-3 scoops of EcoBloom (a prebiotic, I use Body Ecology **)
-1 packet of a culture starter (I use Body Ecology **)
-some type of veggie for the brine (I used broccoli stalks), or you could use some of the shredded cabbage

Equipment 
-food processor
-very large bowl **
-high powered blender
-4 or 5 quart size mason jars (I bought a 6 pack)
-canning funnel **
-dowel (optional)

Directions
1. Take a packet of the culture starter and the prebiotic (honey or EcoBloom) and add it to a bowl with 1 1/2 cups of warm water (90 degrees); let it sit for at least 20 minutes.

2. After they are shredded and cut, put the cabbage, carrots, scallions, ginger, red pepper flakes, orange zest and garlic into a very large bowl.

3. While you are waiting for the culture starter to be ready, put the orange juice, the broccoli stalks, other greens or a handful or two of the shredded cabbage and add it to a blender with water filled about 3/4 of the way up the container (this depends on how big your cabbage heads are); blend well.

4. When the culture starter/prebiotic mixture is ready, add it to the brine.

5. Add the culture starter/brine mixture to the bowl of veggies and combine well, even squeezing the veggies with your hands a bit to create a bit more liquid.

6. Begin filling each of the mason jars, packing down the veggies very tightly with a dowel or the back of a thick wooden spoon; leave about 2 inches at the top for the veggies to expand and pour the rest of the brine on top of them, making sure they are covered in liquid.

7. Roll up a cabbage leaf and insert it at the top of each jar, still making sure the veggies are below the liquid; put the lids on.

8. Let the jars sit out at least 3 days, preferably a week and then refrigerate.
 

Creates many servings; if you have 1/2 cup a day with lunch or dinner it could last you about a month

**I'm an affiliate of Body Ecology and Amazon, so I get a small commission if you purchase through the links above 

 

 

 

Eat The Yolks (+ Recipe)

No recommendation has created more unsatisfied, grazing-all-day people than advice back in the day to reduce dietary fat.

Because that's when we started eating more carbs and sugar to make up for it.

I once ate a WHOLE box of Snackwell chocolate fudge cookies in one sitting. Not kidding. This was shortly after being "good" and loading up on carbs for dinner.

But back to the title of this post.

The food that strikes fear in the hearts of so many is the whole egg.

Fear of cholesterol and fat ushered in the era of the dreaded and tasteless egg white omelet. I've never had one that (fully) satisfied my taste buds or me for more than an hour.

And no one ever looks truly happy eating an egg white omelet.

But you should see the look of ecstasy on the face of a person who's just pierced the yolk of an egg over-easy.

When you eat the whites but not yolks you're eating a fragmented food, which will cause your body to crave the rest.+

Which means you're going to give into something else….like carbs or sugar.

You're probably going to say "But what about cholesterol Lauren??"

Cholesterol in foods has virtually no impact on the cholesterol level of your blood.+

The problem is when the cholesterol becomes damaged (oxidized), which causes inflammation and then narrowing of the arteries.*

To keep cholesterol from oxidizing, give your body good fats and cut back on carbs.*

You're also going to say "But eating fat will make me fat!!"

Nope.

Healthy fat does not make you fat. Carbs and sugar do.

Healthy fat gets burned for steady energy, while carbs and sugar (if you eat too much) will get stored as fat.

And if you're eating a lot of carbs, sugar, even fruit or a fragmented food like egg whites, you're going to constantly look for the next meal.

Am I right? (I've been there too, so I know).

And if you're always hungry, you're gonna keep on eating.

So let's do this right and do this deliciously. The recipe below was inspired by a trip to an awesome country bar in Hoboken, NJ—yes, I was pleasantly surprised to discover there's one there—two actually!

Enjoy, my fellow whole egg lovers <3

Xoxo,
Lauren

Info credits:  +Dr. Frank Lipman, *Dr. David Permlutter

 

Creamy Deviled Eggs

Ingredients

6 eggs, pasture-raised
4 oz cream cheese, softened (pasture-raised, if possible) 
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp garlic powder
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
2 tbsp half + half
Capers and parsley for garnish, optional

Directions

1. Get a bowl of ice water ready as you bring a pot of water (enough to cover the eggs) to a boil;  Once boiling, carefully lower the eggs straight from the fridge into the water.  Cook for 12 minutes; keep an eye on the situation as you'll need to keep the heat high in order to get back to a boil, then reduce it to a slow simmer.

2. Once done cooking, gently remove the eggs and place them in the ice bath for at least 15 minutes. (You can even do this step the day before and keep the eggs in the ice water in the fridge until ready to use).

3. Peel the eggs, blot dry, cut in half lengthwise and remove the yolks; place the whites aside.

4. In a food processor, add the egg yolks, cream cheese, salt, garlic powder, cayenne powder and half + half. Pulse until just combined and fluffy.

5. Fill the whites with the yolk mixture using a pastry bag, small cookie scoop or spoon; top with capers and parsley.

 

Why So S.A.D.? (+ Recipe)

I've always gotten the winter blues, but one year it was the worst ever. Like, really bad.

This was during my training to become a certified health coach and we were encouraged to experiment with different kinds of diets.

Unfortunately, I chose January to go vegan.

Not the smartest timing.

Not only did I learn that depriving yourself of warming animal products during a time when you should be nutritionally taking care of yourself even more than usual feels pretty miserable (and cold!), I decided (because I do things like I mean it) to also stop taking my fish oil pills for the month.

Because I’m vegan now, right?

The results weren't pretty.

When I finally went back to eating normally (praise the Lord!) and taking fish oil again, I felt like a new woman.

What happened?

Ok, I've always been susceptible to Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.), but for years I'd also been taking fish oil pills, so I was always able to make it through winter relatively unscathed.

A few tropical vacations also helped ;)

S.A.D. has been linked to a biochemical imbalance in the brain, stimulated by shorter daylight hours and a lack of sunlight in winter. 

S.A.D. is also linked to carb cravings and weight gain.

But back to the fish oil…

Fish oil contains omega-3 fatty acids, which promote proper brain and nerve function. Recent studies also suggest that omega-3 fatty acids found in fish oil may be helpful in maintaining a healthy emotional balance.

There are three types of omega-3 fatty acids: AHA (alpha-linoleic acid), DHA (docosahexaenoic acid) and EPA (eicosapentaenoic acid).

AHA is plant-based (think flaxseed, chia and hemp), while DHA and EPA are marine-based. For the most effective type of omega-3, choose marine-based.

To go a step further, Dr. Perlmutter (a neurologist and author of the books Grain Brain and Brain Maker), recommends 1,000 mg a day of DHA.

It may also be necessary to up your intake of vitamin D in the winter. Serotonin, the brain hormone associated with mood elevation, rises with exposure to bright light and falls with decreased sun exposure.

Makes sense right? Since you aren't sunning your buns in the winter, your body isn't going to be making vitamin D on it's own. I go from 1,000 IU of vitamin D3 in warmer weather to 4,000 IU in colder.

You might be wondering why I didn't supplement with a vegan source of omega-3. Well, I did the next year (while continuing to eat delicious animal products) and I started to careen down the same S.A.D. path once again, until I went back on the fish oil.

But a more fun way to get omega-3 is through food! (You knew I was gonna say that, right?)

One of the highest sources of omega-3, aside from wild salmon, is sablefish (also called black cod or butterfish).

It's rich and buttery. In the recipe below I gilded that omega-3 lily by coating the fish in sprouted flax meal and I perfumed it with luscious, nostalgic nutmeg.

Savor it and smile :)

Xoxo,
Lauren

Info credit: Andrew Weil, Dr. Mercola and Psychology Today

 

Flax-Meal Crusted Sablefish + Quick Arugula Salad

Ingredients for the crusted sablefish
-2 tbsp flax meal
-1 tbsp ground nutmeg
-1/2 tsp salt
-1 or 2 tbsp ghee (or grass-fed butter)
-2 sablefish filets (I get mine from Vitalchoice.com)*

Ingredients for the salad
-1 tbsp apple cider vinegar with "the mother"
-1/2 tsp blackstrap molasses
-1/4 tsp nutmeg
-pinch of salt
-2 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil
-1/2 of a 5 oz package of pre-washed arugula

Directions for the sablefish

1. Combine the flax meal, ground nutmeg and salt in a dish and press the tops of the sablefish filets into the mixture.

2. Heat a pan over medium heat, add the ghee and then place the filets into the pan crusted-side down; cook for 3 minutes, flip, cover the pan and cook for another 3 minutes; turn the heat off and remove the pan from the hot burner; allow the fish to rest in the pan with the lid on for another 3 minutes and serve.

Directions for the salad

1. Add the vinegar, blackstrap molasses, nutmeg and salt to a salad bowl and combine with a whisk; once combined, slowly whisk in the olive oil.

2. Add the arugula to the bowl and toss to combine.

Serves 2.


*Just a heads up. I'm a proud Vital Choice affiliate. I've loved their products for a couple of years now, so it recently made sense to start working with them. If you purchase the sablefish through the link above, I'll earn a small commission. And just so you know, I don't endorse anything as an affiliate unless I use it myself. 

Confessions of a Soup Lover (+ Recipe)

I’m getting a bit of a reputation for my love of soup, so let's just go with it ;)

Let's start with what I'm NOT looking for in a soup:

-Wimpy consommé
-Strange fluorescent yellow liquid with green flecks floating in it
-Canned soup with grey, lifeless veggies and preservatives
-Mounds of ramen noodles with liquid, that won't satisfy me for very long
-Envelopes of powder/particles that get reconstituted with water….blech!

Soup that I AM interested in:

-Filling (almost too filling!) and chock full of whole veggies
-Full of vibrant flavor
-Not much liquid—it's almost an after-thought
-Pureed, super-thick and satisfying

WHY I use soup as a weight management and beauty-boosting tool:

-It's gorgeously delicious to eat for a few days in a row (batch-cook-it baby)
-As mentioned before (it bears repeating!)…. it's filling
-It'll warm you in the winter and cool you off in the summer
-You can pack it up if you have to eat on the go
-You can get most of your veggies in for the day this way
-You can squeeze a lot of nutrition into it, like I do with my morning smoothie. As Hippocrates (often credited as the father of modern medicine) said:

"Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food".

You can create a soup to:

-Stay younger looking by using sulfur-rich cruciferous veggies like cauliflower and kale
-Boost digestion by using beets and fennel
-Or feed that sweet craving by using sweet potatoes and butternut squash

Soup isn't the only thing I eat when I sit down to feast.

I also get to eat healthy fats and proteins, along with cultured veggies and a salad or another veggie…or maybe another soup!

The batch soup below contains beets (think good digestion…and you can use the greens in a salad!) and cauliflower (glowing skin).

Bon appetite :)

Xoxo,
Lauren
 

Bodacious Beet Soup

Ingredients
-4 tbsp grass-fed butter (use cold-pressed, unrefined coconut oil if you're vegan)
-2 large onions, diced
-salt
-1 clove garlic, minced
-Bunch of beets (ex: 2 large, 3 medium), peeled and diced
-1 head of cauliflower, cut into chunks
-2 large carrots, chopped
-4 cups water
-2 tbsp prepared horseradish
-Ricotta salata, sliced thin (you can do this with a veggie peeler) (omit if you're vegan) 
-Pistachios, shelled and chopped

Directions
1. Heat the butter in a large pot over medium heat; add in onions and 1/2 tsp salt and cook until translucent (about 5 mins) and then add in the garlic and cook until fragrant (about 2 mins).
2. Add the beets, cauliflower, carrots, another 1/2 tsp of salt and water and bring to a boil; cook until the veggies are tender, about 12 to 15 minutes.
3. Turn off the heat, puree the soup with an immersion blender and stir in the horseradish; top each bowl with the pistachios and ricotta salata.

Makes about 6 servings.

Love Yourself Up (+ Recipe)

It's super-obvious to try staying connected to and loving those around you.

But what about staying connected to and loving yourself?

You weren't really taught that, were you?

Instead you can ignore or beat yourself into submission for any number of things: the way you look, how well you're aging, how much you weigh, how much you've accomplished today. Is it ever enough?

And when you do accomplish what you've set out to do, do you really celebrate?

Or do you joylessly start chipping away at the next thing on the list?

Instead of comparing yourself to someone else, can you really look at yourself and see that you're beautiful and different (as we all are!) even though there are areas you're still working on?

This is the most important relationship of your life, so you must cultivate it.

And no, it's not selfish or corny to think this, it's vital.

There's so much that has happened to you along the way that's covered up just how beautiful and ok you really are, which is why loving and caring for yourself is essential.

Taking care of yourself is also the only way to genuinely take care of others.

I tell clients that self-care is like the instructions you get on a plane: in case of an emergency, secure your oxygen mask before helping others with theirs.

It's the only way.

If you aren't taken care of first, you cannot truly help others (your kids, husband/wife, parents, friends, pets. Whoever).

So how can you show love to and appreciate yourself?

By doing even the smallest thing … winking at yourself in the mirror ;), eating your meal on a gorgeous plate, strutting a little while you walk like John Travolta in "Staying Alive", wearing those bold shoes you've been too nervous to wear.

One idea on my list (in addition to the strutting of course, ha!) is indulging in some luscious, healthy, raw vegan chocolate truffles (recipe below), also just in time for v-day ;)

Because as you know, it's not necessary to eat "bad" foods to indulge and reward yourself. The more nutrient-dense foods usually taste way-better anyway!

Check out the ingredients:

-Raw cacao contains more than 300 different chemical compounds and more antioxidants than blueberries, acai, pomegranates and goji berries combined and protects cells from damage and keeps immunity strong.

-Coconut oil is a healthy fat that fuels the brain and body, helps you feel satisfied and makes your skin look younger.

-Unsulphured blackstrap molasses is the 3rd boiling of cane sugar syrup and is high in magnesium, calcium and potassium; it also contains a good amount of copper, which is why it's been linked to the reversal of white hair.

-Cashews contain copper (good for getting rid of grey hairs), magnesium (controls stress hormones) and vitamin K (prevents wrinkling and premature aging).


Love yourself up.

Xoxo,
Lauren

 

Raw Vegan Chocolate Truffles

Ingredients
-1 cup raw cashews, soaked overnight or 30 minutes in hot water
-2 tbsp water
-1 cup raw cacao powder + 3 tbsp for rolling the truffles
-1/2 cup cold-pressed, unrefined coconut oil, melted
-1/3 cup organic unsulphured blackstrap molasses
-1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract

Optional equipment
Small cookie scooper, 1 tbsp size

Directions
1. Blend the soaked cashews in a food processor with 2 tbsp of water until they are nicely chopped.
2. Add the cacao powder (1 cup), coconut oil, molasses and vanilla and blend until well combined, scraping down the sides at least once.
3. Pour the mixture into a bowl, cover and freeze for 45 minutes, or until firm enough to roll into balls.
4. Once the mixture is firm, spread the remaining 3 tbsp of cacao powder out on a large plate; scoop out equal amounts of the mixture with the cookie scoop, roll into a balls with your hands and lightly coat each truffle in the cacao powder.

Makes about 25 to 30 truffles.

Hard Bodies Are Built In Winter (+ Recipe)

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That's one of the most motivational workout quotes I've ever seen. It's the perfect nudge needed to get out of bed for that 5:45am exercise class, when it's 10 degrees out and way-dark.

It beats waiting until the birds start their early morning chirping near the beginning of spring to get motivated (or freaked out enough) to get that butt into gear.

Because if you're already pumped and primed in the dead of winter, you'll be all set when bikini season rolls around. One more reason to rejoice that spring and summer are back :D

I also move my body because it feels goooood!

Ok, maybe it doesn't always feel good while I’m doing it (!), but afterwards my skin glows and my brain feels buzzy (it doesn’t get better than that).

Which makes sense… it's been found that exercise makes us smarter too (woohoo!...check out Grain Brain for more on this).

You don't even need to hit the gym… even brisk walking for at least 20 minutes, 5 days a week exercises your brain. (I always knew I was taking the dog for a walk more for me than her ;)…)

So what's a good way to treat yourself for all that hard work?

Healthy food, of course :)

And, as always, I advocate making it delicious. What better way to ensure that you'll eat this way for the rest of your life? :)

Let's go a little further and get a little funky too.

How about a jacked up dish that tastes decadent but is actually made up of functional foods (which means food that delivers more than just nutrition)??

This recipe might seem intimidating, but it's EASY, especially if you're already used to making super-simple milk kefir.

You're frying up dulse (a seaweed that's chock full of minerals—10 to 20 times more than land plants—and is used by women to help their skin stay wrinkle-free and their hair keep it's color) just until it's crispy and crunches like a chip (yum) and smearing it with kefir cheese (a whole food probiotic that helps increase good gut bacteria and lets your face glow).

Add a crack of sea salt to the top (maybe even some applewood smoked sea salt).

The more your taste buds are engaged and loving what they're experiencing, the less likely you'll want to eat something that'll throw that hard body off track ;)

So sit back and savor :)

Xoxo,
Lauren
 

Fried Dulse "Chips" With Kefir Cheese

Ingredients
-1/4 cup dulse, separated into cracker-sized pieces
-1 to 2 tbsp grass-fed butter
-1 batch of kefir cheese (recipe below)
-Sea salt (I use Celtic sea salt)

Directions
1. Heat a pan over medium heat and add the butter.
2. Add the pieces of dulse to the pan and coat them in the butter and then take a spatula and press the pieces into the pan to flatten them.
3. Flip each piece once the dulse starts to change color. It should take about 3 minutes for the pieces to cook.
4. Remove from the pan, plate and spread some kefir cheese on each piece. Sprinkle with sea salt.
 

Milk Kefir

Ingredients
-4 cups whole milk, pasture-raised (also called grass-fed) or raw
-1 packet kefir starter (I use Body Ecology)
-1 scoop prebiotic, to feed the kefir starter (I use EcoBloom by Body Ecology)

Optional Equipment
-1/2 gallon mason jar
-Canning funnel

Directions
1. Add the starter packet and prebiotic to the mason jar.
2. Heat the milk in a pan until it reaches 90 degrees.
3. Pour milk into the jar and whisk so that it combines with the starter + prebiotic.
4. Cover and let ferment for 12 to 24 hours (depending on how warm the room is).
5. It will be thick and smell like yogurt when it's ready.

 

Kefir Cheese

Directions
1. Once the milk is fermented (see above), place a large fine mesh strainer (or colander) over a large glass bowl.
2. Put a nut milk bag (you could also use cheesecloth or larger coffee filter) in the strainer and pour the kefir into the nut milk bag; the glass bowl will catch the liquid (whey) and the solids will remain in the nut milk bag.
3. Cover and let the bowl sit overnight in the fridge. The next day you'll have a soft cheese in the bag—place it in a different bowl for storage. You can keep the whey to use as liquid in smoothies or as a culture starter for other fermented food recipes. 

 

An Effective Cleanse (+ Recipe)

I get it. Cleanses are convenient + trendy. You spend good money to get a few days worth of cold-pressed juice.

But what does that get you?

Feeling awesome because you're being "good"? Happy because you might have lost a few pounds in a few days?

Big question… does it last?

Or are you just going to keep eating and drinking all the other stuff that's making you feel like you need a cleanse in the first place?

What's the point if nothing else changes?

Why not have practices in place to make sure you'll always feel cleansed and at an awesome weight (which is the desire behind doing a cleanse, right)?

Feeling cleansed also includes your mind...because you know that if you're not in a good place mentally you're more likely to make poor food choices (hello sugar and processed carbs), which causes more weight gain, mental fogginess and low energy (which probably means you won't be hitting the gym or the pavement anytime soon).

I'm not against juicing. I think it can be used as a tool from time to time, but remember that the fiber (what makes you full and keeps your blood sugar from rising too quickly) is stripped out. 

If you're doing it occasionally along with eating whole veggies, healthy fats and proteins, and no sugar and processed carbs, totally cool. And if it's a straight up green juice without any added sugar (boat-loads of fruit, I’m talking to you), even better.

It always seems like simple things are over-looked for the trendy. I have found simple to be the key.

The other key? Do it consistently. Even if it's the holidays. Even if you're going to be traveling.

I want to look and feel my absolute best. So simple tools are a part of my life. No excuses. No quick fixes. Even though I’m busy.  

Unless you want to hire a personal chef or assistant to provide you with awesome meals, the real truth is you have to do it yourself and this requires making space in your life for it to happen. That's it :)

The best ways to make good, lasting food choices?
            -Eat delicious, real food (veggies, healthy fats, high quality protein, fermented foods).
            -Have delicious, simple recipes on rotation.
            -Batch cook.
            -Make sure you always feel nourished and full.

If you're having trouble making space in your life to eat in a way that will help you reach and maintain your ideal weight, hire a coach to assist in clearing out space to make the changes happen (and hold you accountable). It'll probably cost about the same as that juice cleanse and last much longer.

Click here to set up a free session to see if coaching is right for you.

Here's a salad that I'd eat for lunch or dinner with high quality fat and protein and fermented veggies. It's also cleansing ;)

Xoxo,
Lauren
 

Napa Cabbage Salad with Scallions and Onion-Soy Vinaigrette

Ingredients

-1 tbsp white onion, finely diced
-1 tbsp apple cider vinegar with the "mother"
-4 scallions, thinly sliced, whites and greens separated
-1/2 tsp salt
-1 or 2 tbsp tamari (gluten free soy sauce)
-1/3 cup extra virgin olive oil
-1 medium sized head Napa cabbage, thinly sliced

Directions

1. Marinate the onion and scallion whites in the apple cider vinegar in a large serving bowl for at least 20 minutes.
2. Once the onion and scallions are marinated, add the salt and tamari to the bowl and whisk and then slowly whisk in the oil.
3. Add the scallion greens and cabbage and toss to combine; let sit at least 15 minutes before serving.

I had a similar salad on my recent trip and I was inspired to re-create it :)